Dan Shaw

The frienemy of my frienemy is also my frienemy

Creep Show 2 more like Crap Shit Number Two #CreepShowTwo #CreepShow #CreepShow2 #StevenKing #LesserSequel #HorrorSequel #Shit #Crap #PottyHumor #HonestlyItsJustKindaDull

this monkey is so important to me hes like my family

stop asking me how I’m feeling, I don’t know

If you’re always trying to read people’s emotions or wonder if someone is upset with you, you might have an insecure attachment style. HERE’S WHAT THAT MEANS 🧵:

I'd like to thank every single person who was in any way involved with this 1987 Dr Pepper commercial.

Update: People can no longer buy, sell, or transfer handguns within Canada – and they cannot bring newly acquired handguns into the country.

Baby elephants typically don't learn to control their trunks until they're about a year old, which may result in behavior like this.

@carlosanimals Livid lavatory? Pissed pisser? Hissy fit pissy pit?

I bet LeBron has a special bathroom in his house that he only uses when he’s really angry

@carlosanimals Shout house

@carlosanimals Wrathroom

@carlosanimals More relatable

He should start going by LeBron Jim

@carlosanimals Haha

Because he’s in so many commercials

Chris Paul is the modern day OJ Simpson

I will concede that they wasted soup.

@DeafFratGuy JV

Is this mascot ALL BALLS or JV?

Two days ago the NYT posted an investigation into politicians trading stocks They found that 81 Democrats & 101 Republicans filed up to 3,700 trades and $100M in possible volume Many had 100% winners, with some perfectly timed Here’s examples of just how good they were

Second amendment? More like “number two” amendment #💩

we wont reach gender equality in music until women can succeed while being legitimately bad at singing like all men in rock history

If I was Italian I’d get a Little Caesars tattoo