cole ✨

deep talks happening rn

@samsip7jeomo mind you he's younger than me, 🥹🥹🥹

@kkoomaa aw 🥺

love my brother so much

@quickfoxlazyd0g your works have always been so good.. literally so iconic.. i started writing nct in 2018 then lost my spark for a while but even while i took a short break, your works were always such an inspo tbh 😭 like lemme fan girl real quick when you followed me back i screamed

thank you so much 7dream 💚 tds2 in seattle jingle ball 2024 smtown la 2025 and tds4 in seoul

the damage control from all the other members is kinda touching.. i'm glad they aren't being silenced

I've been thinking about the comparison between Mark and Heeseung's announcements. It's not that kpop group departures usually involve more closure — it's that the dreamies, who have faced losing Mark before and have spent a long time fighting to be together as a unit, are handling this in a uniquely transparent and empathetic way. The normal thing is official statements followed by member silence. The silence is a strategic industry standard, to protect everyone. It doesn't tell us anything about how the members feel. It only tells us the company's strategy. While I sincerely wish that Engenes could have had more closure in the way Belift handled Heeseung's departure, what I see in Mark's departure is something unique to NCT, rooted in the history of a fandom that has already faced the graduation system, lengthy periods of hiatus/inactivity, and losing members to both group transfers and scandals. Nctzens have been through a lot — from systems that would have had every member leave Dream, to the subunit performing without 2 key members due to overlap, to internal civil wars between Dream and 127, to learning on a random Wednesday in August that a main vocalist was leaving the senior subunit because he is a criminal. The dreamies and the rest of the neos know this better than anyone. Looking back on SM's history, the credit for the way this announcement is being handled should go to the members. Not the company. What we're seeing is a choice made by those boys against the grain of the industry. The dreamies and the neos made a deliberate choice to be open with their feelings and sensitive to the fans so that Nctzens could go through this transition as gracefully as possible, without the burden of unanswered questions and unacknowledged memories. I think it's really beautiful. They deserve credit for it. I hope it will become a new standard in the industry for situations like this. I wish Engenes could have had this kind of goodbye, but I also know this kind of goodbye is not typical. It's uniquely neo. And I think we can all cherish that.

like yeah i embroider but that strains my eyes too

i honestly need more hobbies that don't involve me straining my eyes... i'm always on my phone, laptop (work), personal laptop (writing), or even my switch... my eyes are so tired

trigger warning here :::: claudia recommending journaling and i think that would be so good.. my last good cry was in january when i was honestly having thoughts about ending it all and i don't ever want to have it bottle up to that point again

i realize that my emotions aren't regulating. this medication is preventing me from letting grief go, instead i am bottling it up, without the fear of it overflowing. except. it can overflow because regardless of it all, im still keeping it in.

ok time to be vulnerable again 💚 i'm on a ssri for my anxiety and depression and we recently increased my dose about a month ago.. and it works.. a little too well to the point where i can't cry. it takes a lot to make me cry and before, it wasn't like this.

@rainbowkinetics feel better 🥹🥹

yall i gotta log off for a min byee fr (im actually sick sick and tired)

@rainbowkinetics i can't get into another fight on the internetsssssss i was so tempted to just rt it but i already know what argument will be used against me

@kkoomaa AND RT

i did work, took a shower, now i'm not in the mood for anything againnnnn