pat sajak hate account

all quiet on the frontal lobe

The Hobbits after the shire got a Zara

micro dosing hell by staying informed and educated

Girlfriends be like “yes ill have the cardamom asparagus earl grey ice cream please!” And then be like “i dont like it”

just saw a kid walking with a balloon. that’s so classic

to be fair, asking the average person to pick between blood meridian and claudeslop is kind of like asking to choose between a funky sediment heavy "biodynamic" natural wine and a buzzball. you gotta develop a taste for this kind of thing

Sometime between tonight and tomorrow there’s gonna be about two to four hours where Trump has heard about Talarico but doesn’t know he’s white yet, and they’re gonna matter

So I’m like really bad at office politics

All these white people mad about Kendrick Lamar’s Super Bowl performance… I hope next year they get Bad Bunny performing the whole set in Spanish.

snowing hard this morning. Bus driver slid through a red light. Only thing he said was “we slidin” i cant stop thinking about this

had a moment washing dishes where i believed maybe for the first time ever that so long as i’m alive, i get to try again and do it differently, and it made me genuinely weep. then i picked up my phone and hopped between instagram and tiktok for 2 hours

full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think

The kids are saying a beautiful flower outside looks ai generated

"Get me Proctor & Gamble, Johnson & Johnson, find the Huggies stock. Triple leverage on all of it. Get a million baby strollers in bonded storage, pronto. Get options on talc. Read that back to me."

in the elevator booing every time we stop on not my floor

Texting your friends is so fun I love receiving and sending little texts to my friends

Uh yeah, I’m having a pretty good day

being a lorde fan that doesn’t live in new york

Secretly competing with the cashier to see who can seem more uninterested in the checkout process