mer charles

i cannot stop spending money. I am the primary breadloser of my household

now i know why my mom still shops in the juniors section at 56 bc i too am scared of being old and out of style

my grandma & rachel ray taught me everything i know

the custodial crew, food service workers, and security guards are always my favorite people wherever i go, they are always the nicest & i will not debate this

i saw a lifeless man on the floor of this mcdonald’s & still ate a mcchicken there the next day when i worked across from it 😪

why do all the decorations online for a 30th birthday say stuff like “happy birthday ya shriveled up old piece of shit” or “one year closer to death!☠️”

100 monkeys….on one single bed?? And you’re perplexed that they fell off

if anyone is monitoring my phone i’m most worried about them seeing the baffling easy addition i do in my iphone calculator daily

zach looked at me dead in the eyes and called punxsutawney phil, “paxsetowny jim” who is THAT

one thing i will never take for granted working for a bank is bank holidays

is anyone else in their tupperware excess era after the holidays? each one i shove in there is becoming dangerously close to becoming a losing jenga game

making sure the cats & marlow know they live a better life in our two bedroom apartment than kim k’s pomeranians do

i saw a tik tok that explained OCD like an annoying kid who wore a fedora in school and always played the devils advocate & now every time i have an intrusive thought i imagine it as that.. can’t tell if helpful or worse

@thatgirlcarleyy i look back and think “did that really happen?”

@mercharless Branch life feels like a fever dream to me

i do not miss the branch

being a sorority girl was a good thing in that i have a huge craft bin still full of shit that comes in handy sometimes

very obvious a man tweeted this any woman could find this out in minutes

when u hurt me this is who you’re hurting btw

are you an “I don’t take medicine” person or a “got a lil headache better take 3 Ibuprofen ” person? I’m neither (I take 4)

@_sareahh one time before i ever had seen a funeral procession i thought something was happening on the road so i joined them & followed for a few miles

y’all know you don’t interrupt a funeral procession even if you have a green light right