If I have to remember my login for anything else that's it hoes I'm walking into the sea never to return.
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Mary Tilden
2.5K posts
Mary Tilden
@mtild
Actor. Writer. Comedian. Queer. 🏳️🌈 she/they pronouns BLACK LIVES MATTER
Chicago, IL شامل ہوئے Mart 2009
0 فالونگ472 فالوورز
Mary Tilden ری ٹویٹ کیا
maybe leonardo dicaprio hated 9/11 so much that he can’t even date women who remember it. did that even occur to you
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Mary Tilden ری ٹویٹ کیا
I don't agree with the reverse cowgirl position. Woman should face their problems.
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When I wake up and get to rip my retainer out of my mouth I feel so accomplished knowing I’ve spent yet another LONG night keeping my teeth from running away.
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You can really get a sense of someone’s self confidence by how they say “mozzarella”.
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I don’t know how to have casual sex. Every time I try to recruit a friend with benefits it ends up just being a weird “friend with feelings” situation where we don’t have sex but we do both feel a little bit sad that we haven’t quite found our soul mate.
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You ever feel like there is never enough time in the world to write all the thank you notes and letters I want to write to my friends?
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Damn @AbbyWambach I’m glad I live in a world where you exist. Seriously. This rocked.
Abby Wambach@AbbyWambach
Days after the SCOTUS Roe v. Wade leak, I gave this speech to the 2022 graduates of @LoyolaMarymount, a Catholic University. I was scared, but spoke for my little Catholic gay girl self. What happens at the end gave me hope. I hope it brings you hope too: bit.ly/3yBzFA8
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Who here still has the quadratic formula memorized specifically from singing it to the tune of “pop goes the weasel” in middle / early high school?
Just me?
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Well now that I’ve seen it, I’m useless too.
kay@tobinmindpalace
how am I supposed to work all day knowing that she’s out there looking like this 😵💫
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The fact that Chani Nicholas, queen of millennial astrology, is married to an Aquarius really makes me feel like that gives Aquarians more street cred as a sign.
..Is this an Aquarian type thing to think? Perhaps.
Chani Nicholas@chaninicholas
My wife, an Aquarius, was invited to the White House this week and when I asked her if she took any pictures she replied, “For what?”
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I can’t tell if I’m sleepy from having COVID or sleepy from having depression, but either way the answer is to take a nap I guess. 🤷🏻♀️
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I start every days Wordle with a very gay word and go from there. butch, femme, pu$$y, queer, d*kes- it’s liberating to know no matter where this ends up…it started out gay. 🤗
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Definitely just developed a lil crush on the woman on my health insurance’s customer support line. She had the best voice?? Its worthy of a Craigslist missed connections post but I don’t think that exists anymore!
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@kirbsxoxo I know! Your dream reminded me to post about my dream hahaha
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Had a dream last night that my ex got an entire body tattoo that was a blue dolphin and will someone please interpret this for me does it mean we are getting back together or not
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