— 𝑶𝑳𝑰𝑽𝑬𝑹 .

what was my entire being? an enormous， useless yearning.

⠀ tending to the 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗥𝗦 wound, “ hold still. ” ⠀

⠀ it's⠀ the⠀ 𝑑𝑖𝑟͟𝑡͟𝑖𝑒𝑠𝑡⠀ clean⠀ i⠀ 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤.

all the world blurred，a vibrating hemorrhage，and it was fine because i could finally feel how little impact i'd ever have on the world. losing that dread that 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲 you'll somehow ruin everything，for yourself and everyone else.

you want to save the world? you can't even save yourself.

how 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐥 would it have been to live back when the wind and birds and avalanches sounded like 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚜𝚊𝚋𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚑，and killing gave people these huge fucking hard-ons?

this can't go on, something's got to give.

once you leave, you'll never be able to come back. you'll have no home.

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤. until i came here，i thought that was for children; that you grew out of it. but it never really goes away. it’s 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 there underneath. the oldest fear of all.

⠀ a⠀ tho͟usand⠀ 𝑓lowers⠀ could⠀ 𝒷𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑚.

❝ ─── 𝙨𝙤 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙢𝙚 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚 . ❞

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 𝓌rapped⠀ as⠀ if⠀ a⠀ 𝑟𝑖͟𝑛𝑔.

he endured it to 𝐩𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡 himself，and to prove to himself that he could; those were the only two reasons he ever chose to do anything worthwhile.

⠀ ⠀ 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 ⠀  ⠀𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝 ⠀ ⠀𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐬 ⠀ ⠀𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌 ˏ ⠀ 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲⠀⠀  𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 ⠀⠀𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒖𝒔 ⠀⠀𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐬 . ⠀ 𝐰𝐞ʹ𝐥𝐥  𝐬𝐞𝐞  𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡  𝐰𝐚𝐲  𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬  𝐨𝐧𝐞  𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬 . ⠀

⠀ ⠀ 𝐢𝐬⠀𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬⠀𝐭𝐡𝐞 ⠀𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 ⠀𝐨𝐟 ⠀𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 ⠀ 𝒘𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒖𝒍  𝐚𝐧𝐝  𝒏𝒆𝒘 ˏ  𝐨𝐫⠀𝐨𝐧𝐞⠀𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 ⠀ 𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎   𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭  𝐢  𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭   𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞   𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 .ᐣ ⠀