Julius† 🔴

I keep telling wimens wajue kuomba mechi. Jiombee hii brungo Susanna. Hamtaumwa na tumbo. Repeat after me. Tell that guy unatakaga akukojoleshe, You, Me, Mechi, Now!. Take for example this neighbour of mine back in Mombasa. We used to stay in the same "plot" hapo Mtopanga. The whole "Ploti", sote tulikuwa mabachelor na mabachelorette except this one woman. She told us, "Mimi ni mke wa mtu msinione hivyo. Bwanangu alienda uharabuni". Mechi zilikuwa zinatembea hio "ploti", wacha tu. For two years, I hadn't seen anyone come or go in her house. She woke up one day asubuhi and told me, "hii Ploti iko na mashetani. Wamenit*mba usiku mzima". "Uko sure sio ndoto mami?", I asked her. "Ndoto na mpaka nilimwaga. Nilishusha sana", she exclaimed. My mind was screaming, "too much information". But watu wa Mombasa kitu hawanaga ni haya. "Ulikuwa macho", I asked her. "Nilikuwa usingizini. Lakini ilikuwa real na tena tamu. Nikiamka ndio nilikuwa namwaga", she told me. Aiiiiiiiii. Hata nyinyi mmeona she was giving me too much information. "Nikuulize, siku ya mwisho wewe kuwa na mwanaume ni lini?", I asked her. "Kitambo. Wajua Bwanangu ameishi uharabuni two years sasa huu ni mwaka wa tatu", she told me. "Basi hayo sio mashetani. Ni mwili tu unakukumbusha wewe ni mwanamke", I told her na story ikaisha. Days that followed she told me, "haki siku hizi imekuwa kila siku. Mimi nat*mbwa tena sana". Nikashindwa nitasema nini. One night, she opened the door for me since she was the one I called nikija kuchelewa. It was towards 1AM in the morning. "Pole nimekuamsha" I apologised. "Nimeshindwa hata kulala. Wajua hii ndio masaa huwa yananikujia", she told me. "Sasa haulali?",I asked her. "Si unikalishe mpaka saa tisa", she requested me. Nilivyo Mshamba, nikaingia kwake. "Sasa, Kati ya Mimi na mashetani, unafaa uogope nini sana?", I asked her. "Heri wewe", she told me.. She asked me to help her put a box up a cupboard. It wasn't a heavy carton but she wanted to help me. She was holding my arms nikiinua "Unanguvu jameni?", she commented. "Haikuwa nzito. Hata wewe naweza kuinua", I joked. Saa Saba usiku joking with a woman in her house. Halafu mashetani iwe mashetani kweli itupate tufirwe sote. Hata Mimi sijipendi walahi. "Mimi ni heavy machine", she told me. Nikainua mama kumuonyesha yeye ni light weight. "Unataka nikuwekelee wapi?", I asked her. She pointed at her bed. By the time she got to her bed, Mjomba Mimi nilikuwa nishaamtoa leso nimegeuka mapepo yenyewe. Kumshika kidogo, anataka kuzima. She was gnashing her teeth akipiga manduru. Had to slap her because she wanted to lose consciousness. Halafu oyaaa, the day utasikia mumamaz akikwambia inaingia vizuri, chomoa. Ni Mimba inaingia vizuri. Senzii.

BREAKING: Karmelo Anthony has been sentenced to 35 years in prison. Anthony was found guilty of murder on Tuesday for the stabbing death of Austin Metcalf at a high school track meet. He will be eligible for parole after half time served.

Vile manamba wa matatu hutegea employed asubuhi ndio awatusi,,,wewe unaenda ama ni meno umeanika😂😂

“I will Insert It Myself”,, ayaaam telling you my brother, usiwai onea mwanamke huruma.

BREAKING: Iran’s IRGC says that its Aerospace Force launched missiles at an airbase in Jordan, which hosts US military personnel and claimed that it destroyed F-35 fighter jet hangars and a primary command and control centre at the base. 🔴 LIVE updates: aje.news/m7l10i

Mungu mbele, vibes juu, accountability kesho😂 Good morning marafiki

أصعبُ مَهمةٍ قد تُوكَلُ إِليك هي أَنْ تكونَ (المَلاذَ) للكثير. ولا مَلاذَ لك من بعد الله إلا نفسك. أَنْ يَأْتِيكَ الناسُ لِستمدوا مِنكَ القوة والعون فيما هو يخصك أو لا علاقة لك به بَينما أَنتَ تَبَحثُ في زوايا رُوحكَ عَمّنٍ يَسندُ خَطوتَك ويشعر بثقل حِملك. أَنْ يَنسى الجميعُ أَنَّكَ بَشِر لَكَ قَلَبٌ يَئَن وجسدٌ مُنهَك ورُوحُ تَحتاجُ لِمن يَقُولُ لَها: تستحقين الراحة.

Morning gains Drop your handles Let's help you grow

🚨🇦🇷 BREAKING - Atlético Madrid president Cerezo: “Real Madrid official bid? Julián Álvarez is NOT for sale”. “We don’t wanna sell him”, told @elchiringuitotv.

Who’s up active and ready to follow ?

A brand-new day means brand-new opportunities. Whatever happened yesterday, leave it behind and focus on making today count. Before you go about your day, tell us: What's one thing you're grateful for this morning? 🙏

Siri ya kuimprove engagements ni kukua consistent whether tweets zinanasa or not. Engage others and you will see magic too. Verified tulisema tunashikana mkono by all means.

Good morning Afrika, drop those handles, let's follow you wapwa

Promote yourself to active mutuals 🔊

Messi. Fireworks. Cinema 🔥🐐

How many followers do you want to gain today?

Success attracts both admiration and criticism. Stay focused on the mission. When you're making progress, not everyone will celebrate it. Keep moving anyway.

Congratulations to Prime Minister Narendra Modi on attaining a historic milestone in public service, as today you become the longest-serving elected Prime Minister in India’s history. This reflects the trust and confidence reposed in your leadership by the people of India across three consecutive mandates in the world’s largest democracy. Your journey from humble beginnings to this position is a testament to dedication, perseverance and public service. Kenya values its strong and enduring partnership with India and looks forward to deepening cooperation for the mutual benefit of our peoples. Best wishes for continued success and service to the people of India.

You can gain 300 followers rn by being A REPLY GUY🔥🔥

We declare today…no loss, no delay, no wasted labor. Only blessings and good results! Amen

I&M Bank has overtaken NCBA in total assets, becoming the 4th largest bank in Kenya. The top banks by assets are: KCB — Sh2.25 trillion Equity — Sh2 trillion Co-op — Sh885 billion I&M — Sh743 billion NCBA — Sh741 billion