StJohn Burkett

@NewbieSlt You will have to both dismiss your class before you leave the classroom (and be the last to leave), and be in your duty area before any students arrive.

Hi all, From Monday there’s a new duty rota. Everyone will do two break duties. They will be when you teach all day and will be the furthest possible distance from your room. You won’t pass any toilets on the way there and lateness back to class will mean support plans. Thanks x

@NewbieSlt And, to be clear, 9A are not ‘drones’.

Hi all, Sometimes, meetings with our CEO get a little heated. I can assure you that I always have the best interests of the children and staff at heart. Thanks x

@keanerthanever1 @JohnSimpsonNews Are you for real? Oh no, I’m forgetting, you can’t be as no real person would post stuff like this. Russian bot?

‘Don’t worry you old cunt you haven’t got long left’, @keanerthanever1 tweets to me. He calls someone else ‘you scrounging obese low iq mess’ and a third person ‘another lying spineless cunt’. Elon Musk’s X doesn’t seem to mind…

@OwenPGCE @NewbieSlt You mean that isn’t the stated mission of The Trust?

@NewbieSlt When are head teachers going to come clean and admit the trust structure is corrupt and useless.

Hi all, You may have noticed I wasn’t at the Academy yesterday. I’ve been doing some joint CPD with our partner academy. Starting tomorrow there’ll be new marking and behaviour policies and another 30 sets of acronyms for you to learn for Friday. There will be a test. Thanks x

@NewbieSlt Will Miss Johnson be able to manage the workload - she’s already the pupil attendance officer, but taking on the staff as well is another matter.

Hi all, After a near death experience whilst hiding in a wheelie bin on bin day, our Attendance Lead Snooper, Mr Johnson, will be taking some time away from The Academy. Miss Johnson will be taking over his binoculars and walkie talkie for the foreseeable. Thanks x

@FuentesZuniga1 @NewbieSlt CEO’s second niece, twice removed.

@NewbieSlt Which of the Johnsons is this, please?

Hi all, We’ve appointed Ms Johnson as the new Assistant Assistant Assistant Vice Assistant Principal to the Vice Principal’s Assistant. Her lack of experience, refusal to answer any questions directly, and her ability to totter about in 5 inch heels won the panel over. Thanks x

@narindertweets There send to be a significant overreaction from many here, who appear to be cross that The Greens won. But they did win, fair and square.

This is horrible Allison. Please delete and apologise.

@BloodybushEdge @PeteUK7 It does read as the worthy instructing the unworthy. You might like to have a rethink - in particular about how it might be for others.

@PeteUK7 When my mum went into hospital I phoned Attendance Allowance to inform them. It's the responsibility of the family to keep DWP informed.

Mum died on Monday. Today she received a £50 civil penalty for not letting DWP know soon enough she was in hospital & had been overpaid £73.90 in allowances. The traumatic experience of hospitalisation & loss of mental capacity was deemed 'not a reasonable excuse'. F this world.

@NewbieSlt I’ve got 9Z this afternoon. If you can leave the info up until then, I’ve got a task for them, using their particular skills (and those of Jayden’s ‘Uncle’ Shawn) involving my Bank account and that of the CEO.

Hi all, The work experience girl in HR has accidentally posted all of your personal info, bank details, and personnel files on the school website. While they’re there, please have a look and see if the details are correct. If there are any errors please let us know ASAP. Thanks x

@NewbieSlt Isn’t there a cupboard full of pre-scuffed shoes in the SLT ‘office’? NB don’t forget it’s also the third anniversary of his rather unfortunate conviction.

Hi all, To celebrate Mr Johnson’s 2nd anniversary as a teacher and 1st as a member of the SLT, we are having a commemorative “shoe scuffing” ceremony in the staffroom at 4pm tomorrow. It will be available to watch on the VLE as you’ll all still be in revision lessons. Thanks x

@NewbieSlt As a parent, and also a teacher, I like to get the last appointment, or just go to whichever teacher is free, no matter what time I’ve been given. I then like to spend half an hour talking about anything other than my child, like where the teacher’s going on holiday.

Hi all, Tonight is our 5th Year 11 Parents’ Evening. You must go through the latest mock papers in detail, telling them how their child can improve and what grade they’re likely to get if they settle down and do some work. Do not say what they’re really going to get. Thanks x

@NewbieSlt My Jones begging outside Sainsbury’s is probably taking it a bit far, particularly in those shorts in this weather. And getting Chantelle to threaten people who don’t ‘freely’ give.

Hi all, It was so nice to see so many of our staff at the Food Bank yesterday. We would have thought you’d be volunteering, not collecting parcels, though. I can’t believe the government thinks you can live on what we pay you. Thanks x

@AnthonyNicolao4 @NewbieSlt Or, as it’s only the one period, ‘One of the nights at Freddy’s 2’

@NewbieSlt My Tutor group will be disappointed. They think they're watching 'Five Nights at Freddy's 2'.

Hi all, Today is the last day of term but you’re still being paid, so we expect to see all classes working. SLT will drop into lessons, checking that you’re all following your medium term plans and that nobody is watching movies or just colouring in (except Geography). Thanks x

@NewbieSlt …and para 7: ‘or after 9pm, Monday to Thursday.’

Hi all, We think some of you have used AI to mark your mock exams. This goes against your contract (p3721, para 6) which says: all assessments are to be marked by class teachers (unless they’re SLT), using a red pen, over a weekend when they could be out having a life. Thanks x

@NewbieSlt It’s that Miss Johnson, well known for her catchphrases ‘Life isn’t fair’, ‘Suck it up’ and ‘Now **** off back to your classroom’?

Hi all, Please congratulate Miss Johnson on her ascension, sorry promotion, to the SLT. She has recently passed her NPQH qualification. Narcissistic, Pompous, and Quite Horrible. We can’t think of anyone better to take up her role in the Staff and Student Welfare office. Thanks x

@PaulGarvey4 Not a merlin. They are smaller and bluer.

Wow! Could someone identify this hawk please? I think it’s a Kestrel that’s taken a crow down and landed on our back lawn. The fight has been going on for almost 15 minutes now. Nature in the raw. Not going to intervene.

@PaulGarvey4 Sparrowhawk, and looks like a jackdaw, which are smaller than crows.

@WendyMissons @Headteacherchat I’m guessing you’ve not been in that situation. I have, and have so spoken to and helped a number of others in a similar position. It doesn’t matter how much the Chair is at fault, the head must remain unfailingly polite. There may be others to help, but sometimes there are not.

@SingeB @Headteacherchat It seems to me the relationship has already broken down, if she's behaving like that. I agree the conversation must be polite, but you're not asking - you're telling

Anon post My chair of governors is also a parent at my school. She frequently contacts me on my personal number at weekends, sometimes very late after 9.30pm or before 6.00am, specifically to discuss her child. Has this happened to anyone else? What did you do?

@Strickomaster And what about DofE? Huge admiration for their commitment.