Tim

@georgediano Well cooked

Meet the son of Adonija Gabriel Oguda, a fully grown intellectual who looked in the mirror, nodded respectfully, then decided lemme behave like Sudi. Oguda is currently a soloist in the Kumi Bila Break choir,, singing louder like rent is due and the landlord has already removed the door. Before he graduated into this nonstop praise & worship ministry, the man was Head of Logistics in Ugunja,, calculating alcohol bills with the seriousness of a lady shaving her office, buying Panadol & condoms for munene, securing coffee supplies, and most importantly, ensuring Opiyo Wandayi never slept alone in hotel rooms. He was supplying him with yellow yellow damsels & when the budget was tighter, walimwengu said he had to be the damsel. This is the same man who stammers like a Hyundai engine trying to start on a cold morning in Kericho. When he wasn’t in the office, he was at home babysitting his grandmother’s cat Medusa, a cat that probably had more consistency in life decisions than him. At some point, Oguda even had a dream. He wanted to open a guava juice processing plant in Kolenyo. But somewhere along the way, the guavas got replaced with Kasongo syrup. Back in the day, Oguda used to wake up early, stretch, yawn, and then PUTS STONE properly on William Ruto & his wife like it was a morning devotion. But then,, hunger my pipoos, Hunger!! Njaa ni kitu mbaya saidii. Lemme tell you Omwami,, hunger is a very persuasive motivational speaker. The moment the government doors opened after killing the Gen Zs, Oguda’s memory did what Safaricom bundles do,, expired instantly. The same man he was side-eyeing like a suspicious landlord suddenly became the best thing to ever happen to Kenya. Character development came faster like a man who has just climbed a massive sianda with an indomie foundation. Today, Oguda has evolved into a full-time praise & worship technician. He has become delulu like a broke lady refreshing Jimmy Wanjigi’s son’s Instagram hoping for a miracle DM. He wakes up every morning to praise Kasongo for rescuing him from poverty. Anyway, a man must survive, but at what cost? Take this to the bank,,, son of Kamagut will have our boy remove balloons from his nose sooner or later. Chesaa! May Yehova Wanyonyi remember the poor son of Adonija. Sisi kama walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

@bungomaduke Zima hiyo bhangi ama utoe mbegu braza

Kenyan investors don't do maths properly before venturing into some business. Instead of hiring a truck to transport only 2 rolls of steel from Mombasa to Nairobi why can't the investor hire a pickup which is cheaper? To hire a truck from Mombasa to Nairobi is 120,000ksh. While a pickup is only 30,000ksh. A pickup can carry 2 rolls of steel or even more. Hiring a trailer to transport just only 2 rolls it's wastage of money.

@sholard_mancity AI will be our undoing

Let me explain something, and this has nothing to do with any specific person. Look at this image. On the left is a healthy individual. On the right is the same person, but with significant weight loss in the face, neck, and body within months This is not normal weight loss. It’s something called cachexia, where the body loses muscle and fat rapidly, even if someone is eating. It’s often linked to serious conditions, especially cancers like leukemia and lymphoma. It can also happen in TB or HIV. What many people don’t know is this: Someone can get treatment for whatever is causing it, e.g., leukemia, recover, and look fine, for example in 2022… then start losing weight again in 2027 if the disease returns or treatment stops working. In cancers like leukemia, this can happen quite fast, sometimes within weeks, and is common. And it’s usually not just weight loss. There can be fatigue, weakness, or bone or joint pain. If you’ve seen this pattern before and it shows up again, don’t ignore it. But also, you can’t diagnose this just by looking. The only way to know is through proper medical tests. If you notice rapid, unexplained weight loss like this, get checked early.

@Degrata254 Bsc. Horizonal engineering

Wenye mlisoma pamoja na polo Kimani alienda University wapi? Jamaa anakaa alifanya engineering or something. Story za D ya secondary hukua kupimana akili.

@H0H0v 2^3.3333

Comment your answer.

@ochan62 @RodgersKipembe You are correct

@RodgersKipembe These are the courses president Museveni calls useless.

This is a graduation list of a University in UK.

@IyelolaIge @boballer80 Stay away from Karen's

Imagine saving a Lady's life at work… and getting reported to HR two days later for s*xual harassment. He’s a quiet guy but friendly with everyone at work. He normally treats his coworkers like friends. About two months ago, during a work lunch, one of his colleagues suddenly started choking on food. Everyone panicked. So he quickly stepped in and did the choking rescue method where you stand behind the person, wrap your arms around their stomach and press inward and upward to force the food out of their throat. After a few pushes, the food came out and she could breathe again. Everyone around them cheered. He simply asked if she was okay. She nodded and rushed to the bathroom without saying much, so he didn’t think anything of it. Two days later, HR called him in. They told him the same colleague had filed a complaint saying his touching during the rescue made her uncomfortable. She said his body was too close and that she felt his private area while he was helping her. He was shocked. They placed him under investigation for a week while he continued working. Eventually HR cleared him completely. But after that, he changed how he interacted with her. He kept distance, only spoke to her when necessary, and stopped including her in casual hangouts. She later apologized and explained she had past trauma. Still, he kept his distance. Now she says he’s being petty. He says he’s just protecting himself. Was he wrong for permanently stepping back even after her apology?

@Skmwirigi @georgediano Correct 💯

@georgediano This is influenced by Ole ntutus.

Elders from the Kapkaon Clan yesterday convened at the Mogondo residence of the late Hon. Johana Ngong Ng'eno to deliberate on the political future of the Emurua Dikirr parliamentary seat he left behind. The immediate family and clan unanimously resolved to support Ngong’s spouse, Mrs. Naiyanoi Ng'eno Ntutu, to uphold and continue the legacy of the late leader.

@ignyharaz2 Kunuka mutura asubuhi

My day can easily get ruined by... 1. Ukisikia sauti ya keyboard ya church ama crusade close to your business. 2. Kelele ya power saw kwa jirani. 3. Exhauster ikikuja kuvuta mafi in your neighbourhood. 4. Jamaa kuvuruta makasi na kutema mbele yako. 5. Jirani wa SDA on preparation day 6. Boda iko na loud music 7.

@sonukg4india 3

☕🧩

@_quidpro @Kianangih Thogoto na ndunyu unaibiwa ukifika nyumbani unanuka kichinjio

Tulipigwa nyongoro tukaibiwa mzinga!!! Thogoto is not a real place😭, hatukureport ata, tulikaa chini tukaanza tuu kucheka😂

@Bookten8 @MkenyaMzi Hapa naona pengine ujitoe uhai

Date 10 is when I pay bills Rent- 18,000 Badge 800 KPLC Token- 1000 Wifi- 2000 Debts - 1500 SHA - 500 Golf training - 10,000 Gas- 1600 Girlfriend upkeep- 9,000 Kinyozi - 10,000 Shopping - 8,000 Gym-5,000 Sherehe - 15000 Total= 82,400 Income 35,000 Nitoe gani ndio ni save?

@JMukhomba @_fels1 @Moha001_Onyango Pale client ndio ukaguliwa aisee

@_fels1 @Moha001_Onyango Naona pia wewe ni mtu wa kukagua guaride pale Junction ya luthuli na river road 🫡

CBD to Utawala is Kshs 2,890 on Uber Chap Chap. Sema Kimeumana!

@ahil_k555 I received calls from many guys but all of them were middle men. Just sight and vibes

Now I understand the whole “Proof of Funds required prior to viewing” statement guys post when selling such - thought it was a joke. I’ve shown the car to at least 12 guys - go for a small run round the block, they literally have nothing to pick about the car - then silence. NKT

He was one step away from finishing… but game over. 😂

@ZeddyBariti My first time to Kampala by bus I was just looking out for total stations to know the towns

There is something quietly genius about Total petrol stations. They add the area name to the brand signage. On routes I have never used, I don’t look for a petrol station, I look out for a Total. Underrated branding move. 🙌

@lawyer_memes Your HR should see a psychiatrist

A junior said "Good morning" to me in the elevator. I checked my watch. It was 11:00 AM. I looked at him. "It's almost lunch," I said. "You're three hours late to the concept of morning." He tried to explain he'd been at his desk since 7. I interrupted and told him accuracy matters more than intent. I emailed his reviewer suggesting he take a CLE on time management. He apologized later. I didn't reply. I forwarded the apology to HR as proof of his inefficiency. Greetings are risky. He learned an important lesson. Never speak to a partner in the elevator. Unless spoken to.

Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

POV: how x, y and z felt after leaving the alphabet and joining mathematics