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@authorangelalam @jzux @joyhuilin No other partner will ever call my dick Mao Zedong again, the memories that would turn up are too painful

@hotchicknumber4 girl with a fine butt who asks "you up?" at 8pm local time

You up?

@ashphattt222 one time I took the last stall at home depot which was the handicap stall but then it cleared out until a guy in a power chair came in. he rammed the door at full speed and went "OWWW!! FUUCCKKK!!! when it didn't budge, rudely shattering my zen pooping state.

i’m pooping at the grocery store and all the stalls are empty this lady proceeds to sit next to me and start moaning while peeing and now i’m scared to leave

calling the sperm bank to tell them I am instituting a product recall

rainn wilson is the type of comedian whose legacy would have benefited from a tragic early death in the upswing of his career

A neighbor's kitty got out and followed another neighbor down the street to our house. Stereotypes about orange cats not checking out this time, this kitty has a better sense of self preservation than Zek.

@ABCommunist Puma White Hunter sounds like a cool indigenous superhero

I found this knife (unfortunately named the Puma "White Hunter") at a Goodwill yesterday for $25. Needless to say I will now be carrying it with me literally everywhere I go.

@sassykathy666 Any favorites? I like Sam Adams Just the Haze and Sierra Nevada Trail Pass, Clausthaler Original is kinda bad but makes a great grapefruit shandy

she wants sex and beckons me upstairs. I'm a bit frustrated but follow her up because hell yeah sex. She later uses this to illustrate that I only see her as a sex object because I only want to have sex with her when she comes over, like no homie you initiated almost every time

Early pandemic, she's coming over for dinner and to watch a book overview video I've been asking her to watch for 3 months for our new book club. Agreed on 5pm, she shows up at 7pm w/o communicating, we eat, she says we don't have time for video and sex before she leaves at 8:30,

@DavidWalkerSGHS @WUTangKids And Longhorn Steakhouse is from Atlanta, Georgia

@WUTangKids Kentucky Fried Chicken is Headquartered in Texas… and Texas Roadhouse is Headquartered in Kentucky…

Sir….the Japanese World Cup tourists discovered Texas Roadhouse and are calling it the "best cost-performance steak"

@IamKingWilliams It and Gaines Hall right next to it (as well as Furber and Fountain Hall) are an embarrassment to Atlanta to have been let decay to the conditions they are in. They all have such rich history and yet the city has done next to nothing to protect them from further harm.

We gotta fix this within one year, especially if Keisha is the next governor. Her and Andre can’t let arguably the most important Black person in Atlanta pre-MLK, have his stadium like this

my only question about the harrier pussy was "does it have VTOL?" but realized that's what bouncing on it is

@ewelannawhite meanwhile mine loves a fucking trash bag

left this out to see how long it would take for him to sit in it and he totally fell for it

@thewrongmolly this is anti-yapper discrimination

are you fucking kidding me right now

I often think of this passage from Lenin’s text on Tolstoy and the labor movement: "Despair is typical of those who do not understand the causes of evil, see no way out, and are incapable of struggle." We rarely see the other parts of that paragraph. "Despair is typical of the classes which are perishing,” Lenin writes. "The modern industrial proletariat does not belong to the category of such classes." Lenin was writing about the labor movement, and the objective historical process that saw it rise and replace the peasantry as the dominant force in Russia. The peasantry was gripped by despair because its class no longer had a future. The proletariat, by contrast, was growing in strength and number. Today, Lenin’s insight also holds true of the streets of Iran, where people mobilize by the millions under bombardment. It is true of the communes in Venezuela, whose militants continue the task of building socialism and are prepared to take up arms to defend it. It is true of the people of Cuba, who remain defiant under a crushing blockade that has turned their cities dark. Those who despair now — as a new world is being born — are really just mourning the death of liberalism. They are mourning the death of a world that never existed: a world of supposed lawfulness and “rules-based” governance. Anyone who has ever earnestly tried to bring a new world into being quickly learned that these were fictions created to secure impunity for the colonizer and oppressor. That is why we find that people on the vanguard of the systemic transition underway — as with the labor movement in Lenin’s time — “have plenty to protest against but nothing to despair about.”

he is just the comfiest dude

@CEOoGiantFetish tiny titties are the best way to start off the day. you really know how to improve morale around here and that's why they pay you the big bucks chief executive offtitcer

I support both of these forms of communism

@mollywidstrom flat ass girls need love too <3

i just saw my ass in bike shorts since i've gotten too skinny and it is too small and too flat :(

It isn't perfect but a working mid-fifties Westinghouse refrigerator popped up for $100 (much less than they usually sell for) then the seller said oh I also have the matching upright freezer for $50 then found out I'm a brass player and sold me a good euphonium for $50