Poly #Autistic #TwitchStreamer #Learner #Writer

Hey, new followers! I am an autistic streamer, nerd, writer, and content creator. I am silly and love to discuss mental health, disability issues, philosophy, psychology, and more! Check out all that I do online! poly-mathical.com #autistic #twitchstreamer #writer

@IAmIronMan42522 I'm sorry. I know it is rough constantly being surrounded by people that don't understand you or treat you fairly. But you have come so far and you should be proud of your growth.

@polymathical_ Me in a moment at supper today with my toxic parents… 👀

One thing I am learning in my healing is that sometimes I cannot change how I respond in the moment. Sometimes I am reacting to an overload of stimulation and I won't be able to just shut that off. It's ok to gravitate towards people who are understanding and not judgemental. 1/2

Life is a bunch of lessons. Even though it has caused me a lot of pain and a lot wasn't fair for me, I can take away something important from all of it. I have learned that I deserve better, what I can and can't control, who my real friends are, etc. There is so much to learn.

This world doesn't reward the invisible work of healing and persistent growth. The reward comes from within, from knowing that you are moving through life with integrity and true self-awareness. It's what you feel within yourself that rewards you.

I'm learning the difference between accountability (how I handle things afterwards) and capacity (what I can actually control when my brain is overwhelmed). There is more freedom in accepting you can't always have full control and I'm still autistic at the end of the day. 2/2

one thing i have learned after having something terrible happen to you is that people have no idea how to speak to you anymore

@IAmIronMan42522 No worries, that's exactly what I do. I don't like getting back to people if I am not ready or in the right headspace to give them the response they deserve. Take your time and I wish you the best in your future writing endeavors.

@polymathical_ @polymathical_ , I do want to say that I saw your messages on Discord earlier. I’ll leave them on unread as a bookmark to remember to get to them. As soon as able. I’m currently working on this:

Good friends are amazing. I am just trying to really take in how grateful I am. There are people out there that literally care and see my efforts. There are people out there that love me for who I am and the person I am becoming. I'm not going to take that for granted.

people will choose permanent silence over a single difficult conversation when that conversation requires them to acknowledge they were wrong and you deserve an apology

I'm making Kingdom Hearts, except it's set in a 1001 Arabian Nights inspired world.

@IAmIronMan42522 Hey, I wanted to directly apologize to you. I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to your messages. I am planning to get back to everyone and I will prioritize you. I have been in a low place for the last few weeks and I needed time to process it all. I am doing much better now.

“i don’t owe anyone anything” sure, but don’t be surprised if you’re end up alone. you have to give your time and energy to build meaningful relationships. and yes, you will be inconvenienced. but the people who care about you would do the same for you.

@story__horse I'm sorry. I hope your days get better 🫂🩵

Today was awful.

@ClaireMax Amazing progress! Thanks for sharing.

6 years of work. I went from 109lbs to 150. Natural (yes, really. If you try to argue that this isn’t achievable naturally in SIX YEARS you know nothing). Consistency (not perfection) has been the most important factor. I’m currently on a 97 week streak of hitting the gym a minimum of 4-5 days per week (and that’s just in the app I’m currently using). I walk 10k+ steps per day. I eat 1g of protein per pound of body weight (more if I’m trying to gain). I eat 200+ grams of carbs per day. Unfortunately, if you want the results you have to do the work, and it takes a long time. Fortunately, the work is really rewarding.

I want to set this firm boundary. No community that chooses to protect its status quo by sacrificing a marginalized person will ever be a community of mine. I can accept that this is a part of this world that I can't control, but I refuse to enable it, ever.

@ggioiamelissa Hey 👋🏽!

Having fun with filters again in my phone camera.

I was just talking to my partner about how this genre desperately needs modern attention. I'm excited! I am just happy to see people creating games that fit that niche that has no connection to the other games. I need that right now on my healing journey.

I don’t care what anyone says—I REQUIRE an apology and a deep conversation before reconnecting with anyone. I need understanding, accountability, and reassurance that what happened won’t happen again. If we can’t hash out our misunderstandings, there’s no reconciliation. You go your way, I’ll go mine. Time passing doesn’t erase disrespect. Respect is non-negotiable, and I demand all of mine.

some connections only feel deep because you were the one investing depth into them