random ramblings

@Zamir_75 It was good action but the Rock tried to make black Adam an anti hero of sorts rather than the calculated villain he really is. That coupled with a complete abandonment of the Shazam element that drives his hatred it was lacking key components. I liked it, didn’t love it.

I don’t understand how Black Adam lost money….the movie was 🔥

Just saw a four loko can on the ground that would appear to have been “shotgunned”. In today’s episode of really bad life decisions….that.

In todays episode of “realizations of my age” while folding laundry I actually said I’m really excited about wearing my brand new socks this week…to no one, out loud and meant it.

Just read one of my new favorite sayings “alcohol is like a push-up bra for your personality”

Your mental illness is like your mddle name…everybody knows you have one but they haven’t figured out what it is yet.

This is not the dystopian future I conceived of in high school. I expected a little more mad max and a lot less getting up at 5 am to go to work.

Do you think tooth fairies are just a small subset of the far more sinister bone fairies? These are the thoughts that fuel my nightmares.

My life goals include dramatically sweeping everything off a table so I can spread out an oversized map to explain my plan to solve the problem at hand

Imagine being naked in a room full of people who don’t speak your language and they all want to touch you? That’s a dog’s life.

I will now use this going forward when anyone asks something of me I’m not interested in doing “To quote Hamlet, act 3, scene 3, line 87” <pause for dramatic effect> “No”

My new favorite joke: What’s the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist? A rock guitarist plays four notes in front of a thousand of people and a jazz guitarist plays a thousand notes in front of four people.

Got up one morning, put my feet on the floor and thought “damn, I shouldn’t have drank that much last night” then realized I DIDN’T drink the night before. It’s been downhill since.

My wife is constantly telling me that I’m always pushing her buttons…but if that were true you’d think I’d have found the mute button by now.

I want to record an audiobook that’s just eight hours of breathing and page turning then right at the end go “oh, you mean out loud?!”

Some people will talk about you because you removed their privilege to talk to you.

When you stop and think about it…carrot juice is also orange juice.

For perspective, a woman’s “I’ll be ready in 5 minutes” and a man’s ”I’ll be home from the bar in 5 minutes” are the identical amounts of time.

I always thought it was our capacity to love that made us human….turns out it’s the ability to select each image that contains a boat.

Them: you’re going to hell Me: what’s in hell? Them: people like you Me: what’s in heaven? Them: people like me Me: you really need to work on your threats

The Matrix described 1999 as the height of humanity and I just laughed…23 years later and the machines may have known something.