Jordan Sim

I’m going to give 10 random people who retweet this tweet $10,000 EACH! You must be following @Pulte and me so we can dm you if you win $10,000! Ends in 72 hours, will show proof ❤️

I'll give $2,000 to a random person who retweets this within the next 72 hours. Winner must be following @brookeab & @dnpthree (so we can DM you). Good luck!

“Don’t touch your face you’ll get Coronavirus” Mateihaveafuckingmoustache

Imagine coming to the greatest city on earth. Standing in front of a Christmas light show on a 5 story historic building. And you’re recording it on a flip phone. #NewYorkNewYork

Can we all just take a minute to realize that Snapmaps is just a real life version of the Marauder’s Map?

@MrBali9 2 things, one their goes my fucking bracket. Two, have you noticed you’ve tweeted over ten thousand times?

A wise man once said: “Trying over and over again isn’t failing. It’s when you give up and say you can’t do it is when you fail. Trying is the steps to success.”

And says, "The best thing about woman, they are born every day"

She leaves and this guy just asks for a bud light, bartender says I think you pissed her off and this guy takes a sip of his beer

Listening to an interesting fight in this small town bar I'm in, last words I hear the girl say is "IM GOING TO FUCKING CALGARY WITHOUT YOU"

Girl the only thing you're gonna be for the rest of your life is a bar star, get over yourself 😂

The best part about being alive is when people judge you on someone else's opinion of you

The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution

If you want to see someone's true colours, take em golfing

My neighbors' safe-word is, Hufflepuff. I only know this because I happened to jog past their bedroom window for an hour.

This is a public service announcement to @MrBali9 : You're a cunt. That is all.

Drinking and having your phone is a more dangerous combination then taking a bath with batteries