Abu Safavid
1.2K posts




🚨JUST IN: US Homeland Security Secretary after Iran’s World Cup elimination: “I’m just glad they’re done, and they’re not coming back. I was so happy when we were able to pull their visas and said they could leave the U.S. soil, and I might’ve sung a song or two or maybe even danced a happy dance.”




Armie Hammer reveals he tried hooking up with a man through Grindr because 'gay dudes have it so easy’ and ‘women are the worst’: “I tried hooking up with a dude one time. It was hilarious... Because I was like, you know what? Like, women are the worst. Gay dudes seem to have it so easy. Like, so easy. I'm at a restaurant, my phone blows up, and it's, like, Grindr, and someone else is like, 'I'm at the same restaurant. Do you want a b****** in the bathroom?' And you're like, 'Hey, guys. I'll be back in five minutes.’ Okay, this could work. This could work. Yeah. Let’s try this.' I remember I started making out with him, and I just remember being like, God! Beards! Oh I get why women like it when you shave! Like, this thing is f****** rough. Like, how do I get in there? I put my arms around him and I was like, ‘Oh my God! And these shoulders are so wide! He’s so big! He’s almost my height. Like, this is so strange.' It did physically for me absolutely nothing. Nothing, like, not even a twitch. He reached for my d*** and I responded, ‘You’re not going to touch my flaccid p****. Like, this is not going to happen.’”

















