Secret Assistant Pro (insert Blue Tick here)

The only other person in living history who was able to move sand more efficiently than @PReedGolf

Shawshank Scheffler has arrived ready for his round!

@NUCLRGOLF Maybe if golf wasn’t so PC and got a little personality. I want to see players genuinely lose their shit, swear a little, show some passion. It’s ok to watch 2 guys in the Ice Hockey kick two bells of shit out of each other but not have a tour pro say that was a shit shot.

🚨📉📺 #NUMBERS GAME — Rory McIlroy talks about fans losing interest in men’s professional golf and TV ratings tanking: “If you look at the TV ratings of the PGA TOUR this year, they're down 20 percent across the board. That's a fifth, that's big. I would say the numbers on LIV aren't great either in terms of the people tuning in. I just think with the fighting and everything that's went on over the past couple years, people are just getting really fatigued of it and it's turning people off men's professional golf, and that's not a good thing for anyone. It's going to be really interesting to see how the four major championships do, or even the three because put Augusta aside, I think that sort of lives in its own world. It will be really interesting to see how the major championship numbers fare compared to the other bigger events because there's an argument to be made if the numbers are better and you've got all the best players in the world playing, then there's an argument to say OK, we need to get this thing back together. But on the flip side, if the numbers aren't as good, it's an argument to still say we need to put everyone back together because people are losing interest in the game even if they don't want to tune in to the four major championships. Like that to me is not -- that's where I said like things need a correction and things are unsustainable because I'm close with NBC and the people that really care about these things and the people that tune in to watch golf. You know, 20 percent's a pretty jarring number this year.” @TrackingRory

Tag a mate who will go into a shop, sit down and chat about their round (which was no doubt a shower of shit) before they forget to buy a round and leave without putting money in the hustle pot. #everygolfclubhasone

Re tweet if you fancy a game at the home of golf in 2024 😍🤞🏼

I’m struggling to concentrate on your swing given the blatant disregard you have for hitting in front of the rope. You’re better than that, come on Paige.

Rate my golf swing on a scale of 1-10

This is going to divide the masses but here I go….Juniors are not the future of golf. Big John who is desperately trying to get 10 more yards is the future of the golf business. He’s had 3 drivers this year alone. Let’s all be more like Big John!

@RickShielsPGA Said a million of times…it’s Goodwood babe!

Can anyone help Steve 👇

When this is the best you can do with so little care! #canihavetheropeback

Time to put those beef curtains away! Big day tomorrow! #SolheimCup2023

Struggled to serve today under excitement of the #Serloincup Beef curtains everywhere!

The only positive to come out of todays #SolheimCup2023 was the fact Laura Davies hasn’t been commentating.

It must be a good idea with the size of the crowd it’s attracted!

@flushingitgolf It’s great when a full time playing pro (normally only focussed on their own future) and harps on about not doing enough for the game. Golf is fucking booming you mug. These LIV boys going on about growing the game is the same as an a alcoholic saying they drink responsibly.

Paul Casey on the future of professional golf: “More consideration needs to be given to the needs and wants of the fans. That doesn't get talked about enough. And certainly not enough by those making the big decisions. All of this can’t be just about business. That frustrates me and probably many others. It doesn’t matter whether I am part of the DP World Tour or the PGA Tour or LIV, we are all part of the issue and so the solution. But we are not all swimming in the same direction right now. That’s my biggest concern. This needs to be about the consumers.” Well said, Paul!! 👏

Can you actually call yourself a real golfer unless you walk into a shop and ask for one of their ‘free’ pencils?

@Boshanko Good man. Need to shame these individuals.

@assistant_pro Caught my knobheed mate using some of these a couple of years ago. Priceless look on his face when I tossed them over the hedge into the adjacent farmer's field.

Bravo Ali! A job well done! Great to another set of DIY String Tees out of the game! #notallheroswearcapes

Phones going onto night mode from 13:00 today until Monday morning. Don’t bother calling whilst the #Masters2023 is on.

Anyone else got a member who is so under the thumb you know he has to ask his wife to have a wank?