aud rey

the grass is greener on the other side? möbius strip

Fuck I’m actually such a zoomer, I think skinny jeans are fucking disgusting.

@sleazylang Pardon?

I nut on that fish on my plate

“le mao”

e-abbreviations that should be read out in full: - wtf - ngl - btw - ttyl - gtg - fs - fr - hbu - tbf - lmk - dw - atp - iykyk e-initialisms: - omg - smh - tbh - idk - fyi - brb - jk - irl - tldr e-acronyms: - lol - lmao - yolo - asap - gaf undecided: - rn - idgaf - imo

none of this lunarian nonsense would’ve occured if phosphophyllite had taken some vyvanse for that encyclopedia

male, homosexual birds: cockatwo

@config_Geist they built a dam out of what??!

@audroraa Haven't heard the word "curmudgeon" since they built the hoover dam

This is actually very easy if they aren’t a curmudgeon.

thigh gap in the marketplace of ideas

@hedgehogs4hands Yeah it’s big league chew

Is gum the chewing tobacco equivalent of candy cigarettes

Baby who smokes cigarettes: “Look mom! No hands!”

low key lime pie charlie kirk genuinely

@config_Geist USB to IUD

They should invent a USB to BBQ converter

i hope that the new dsm-6 drop includes whatever the hell is wrong with me. i hope that the new dsm-6 drop releases me from my shackles.

@config_Geist they mean “eben” like “eben doch”

There is a town in Austria called "Eben" which means "flat". It's in the middle of the Alps...

@config_Geist drama? where?

@audroraa A brief glimpse into the mind of someone who keeps up with political streamer drama

See, it’s all important. Think about the least important thing, that’s actually the most important thing.

34 years ago a woman in Japan contacted the variety show Knight Scoop with a mystery: her dog, Sacchan, was gaining weight despite being on a strict diet. She suspected he was finding food elsewhere, so she asked the show's "detectives" to follow him. The investigation revealed that Sacchan had a secret double life. He was commuting daily to the local train station where he was a beloved celebrity. The camera crew watched as he visited multiple businesses, including a travel agency and a convenience store, where locals fed him treats like beef jerky and Pocky sticks. He had an entire network of enablers fueling his weight gain.

@config_Geist I’ve always said this and no one takes me seriously

@audroraa "What if there was no ABCDEFGHIJK, but there was 2 Ls, and ' ' was the fourth letter of the alphabet"