turning and turning

to err is human, to berate someone for their mistake is divine

@decemberhunting wait that’s actually facts

Being drunk is fun but one musn't overdo it.

@FeralPHunter @Howlingmutant0 he still hasn’t responded to this..

@callofthefoid i hope she was under 20 or else @Howlingmutant0 wont sleep there

as a show of support, my husband and i made a bed on our couch for howlingmutant in case he should need it. we even hired a girl to sleep on it for a night before he arrives. we weren’t sure which race he wanted so we just guessed

@texmeplease it didn’t happen for me today either

@callofthefoid it doesn’t happen

how do i get a big tweet

@ambientcathair no im thin

@callofthefoid this is the macdonald triad for girls by the way

@texmeplease some of the best movies are on there

watching tubi cuz im broke this month

@dennismacelroy if you have an idea that will boost revenue by 6% you can say it like that

@callofthefoid Ight fam I got an idea that will lowkey boost revenue by 6%

alarm set for 11:59pm to remind me to ask my fiancé if he likes my face or body better

@Howlingmutant0 they wouldn’t have told you that if they didn’t trust you and feel close to you

I saw a guy sitting next to a girl on a park bench and she was crying, tears streaming down her face, so I went over and I said “Hey! Asshole! You hassling her or something? Make you feel big???” Anyway it turned out she had a miscarriage but still good on me for checking in

@scootykins in what

@callofthefoid masterclass

this meeting could’ve been a picture of your feet

being on your phone during a remote meeting is low status but being on your phone in a conference room while people look at you and talk to you is very high status

@Howlingmutant0 im on your side but just curious are you polish

I have never related to a tweet less than this one

i just need to combine sports betting and pornography into one thing and then my husband and i will be rich and happy and i can take his phone and computer away

@aronaya don’t know another way to live

@callofthefoid This is a wholesome relationship.

when my cell phone dies on a night out i play calculator on my work phone and let me just say this: there are at least a hundred numbers

@theslowestdays just leave the house and start walking right away and you’ll figure it out ☀️

crippled by the burden of absolute choice to the point that i am paralyzed and incapable of deciding what to do on this beautiful day i’ve taken off from work

@elletwocache and the worst it ever smells 👍

it sure is a good thing that this is as hot as it gets in new york city

all men have to do to be good husbands is have as much power at work as possible and no female subordinates

i would pack my husband lunch and leave notes in the bag but only notes reminding him to hold frame and bully other men and not speak to any women at work especially subordinates