Pvt. Cornelius “Bags” Blankenship

Roommate busted a slat “to make it easier to piss off the porch” #expand

@LongJohn1962 Wrench

What should I dox for 500 followers

@girl08022006 My friend interned there two summers ago and she said the monkeys used to jerk off the entire time

And To my Children I leave my zoo membership

Definitive ranking here

@dickofficial42 If you're driving at night gotta be Diamonds and Gasoline album

I’ve got a long road trip give some song recommendations

@chitownspartan1 Need that

@cornbaagger Not washed, Bags, this is the start of something bigger than yourself, you have the opportunity to booze

Off to the last class of the career #washed

@kittyy4pres Hallo

#mutualmonday reply and i'll assign you a zoo animal BECAUSE I AM AT THE ZOO 😊

@FurrStayFlowin You have no clue how correct this is

@cornbaagger Sheet metal

Mutual Monday: reply to get what food i associate you with

You’ll never guess who’s falling in love as she’s walking away

@wardamnbilly It’s like ashing a dart, go until you’re good

How many shakes are appropriate after taking a piss? Personally I’m like a 4-6 shakes kind of guy but I’m not sure if that’s too many. #Labk (Let a brother know)

@chankrips Yeah a byproduct of quitting velos is you get more real estate

@cornbaagger That’s what the top tin is for

Stolen valor (bag in the velo can)

Let her wear my shirt so I’m not gonna send it through the wash anymore

Would appreciate a little Sunday Night Football action right about now

@sexaddictsander That's some pretty country Earl

300 follower childhood driveway dox

Incredibly hungover rn but playing golf for cash later so we better figure it out quick else Cornelius is #fucked

Hopefully “Rizwan” gets her home safe

Idk what his future in the league is, but Heidenreich is a stud and a hell of an athlete

Not a foreskin in sight