Jordan

My stepdad almost drowned at the YMCA multiple times, but miraculously the same heroic highschooler lifeguard was on duty every single time

@TheRoyalSerf Jorge Masvidal is just a Muslim Tucker Carlson

@Beer_Pisser Interesting, I’ll need to do more research

@placenta_effect No

My penis is blurry irl

@mollypilledv2 It’s just like this but I’m the machine and they do that to me for 12 hours a day

One of my best friends works in a factory but I honestly don’t really even know what that means so I just assume he does this all day

Committing suicide by mall cop

@BIGBEL001 purse goes hard with your fit bro

@FayazAh84525805 can i use this pic as reference for my blind barber next time i get a haircut

@Layy_Co youre hat is on backwards i cant read it

@bigbobo999 you could totally beat the shit out of my dad 💯

@sd_aa53322 no thanks

@ShabanOmon50524 The guy on your poster in the window looks like me without my skin on, I didn’t give you permission to use my likeness

@daytradersuzi when I FaceTune the wad of pubes in my shower drain

@victim_burn77 I just thought they were too stingy to buy beyblades

Do dradles have some kind of religious significance or is this just like some old guys favourite toy and these kids never heard of supersoakers

Getting raped by a Mormon guy isn’t that bad, until his buddy pulls up on his bike with a mattress

Getting a NeuraLink just so I can have the Chinese “Bruetooth connected” lady dictate my internal monologue

Donating the liposuction fat from my big round belly so sick kids can get a BBL too

No sex can i Please put my head in your lap