Ruby

This country is way too small because tell me why I just saw someone who fucking traumatised me come up on my reels advertising fish??

Thinking about the time I was being sick out the window and I kept saying “it’s Hereditary” and Matthew, who has not watched the film, said “no it’s not, you’re just drunk”

Click bait articles are like “The results are in!” and nobody asked the question in the first place and I’m still like hell yes my man let’s find out!

I’m just SAYING (to my 300 followers) that if Elon Musk gave 1million (rand) to every SPCA in South Africa it would amount to less than 0.003 percent of his wealth. I am very drunk at 4am trying to do maths for the dogs (and cats and donkeys)

*me tying my shoelaces* “when will the nightmare end?”

I was invited earlier this century to go to 9/11, and I said no. Kind of scary that I could have been in it

Delicious (the song) open.spotify.com/track/0leJYiYy…

My email signature goes “Thank you! Best,” but you have to read it like Ariana Grande

DREAMS DO COME TRUE

Middle aged ladies love to give credit where credit is due

@eNCA, would suggest making use of Twitter as a resource rather than just a platform for a poll.

Jack wanted to tell me a joke and I told him to leave me alone to scroll Twitter and now he is loudly telling the joke to the dog

Nee but if they come to you with a “I don’t know but I’ve been told 🎶” and you don’t shrink into yourself you are made of STEEL

There are two types of people in South Africa, people with a taste for life, and snobs.

@marctengberg *tweeting this as I sign out on what is essentially my Friday evening and thinking about how good it is to be South African right now*

I am in favor of the four-day work week and the four-week presidential campaign.

I thank each and every deity for my 4 day work week - nobody is online on Sunday to give me admin and by actual Monday evening I’m halfway through my week. In one year ago me’s wildest dreams.

Absolutely shaking with rage thanks Pfizer

@generalslug If this is what we sound like I’d best be off to throw myself down a well

does elon have a speech impediment or is it just the accent

Overheard: “And then we started talking about life and poverty and all sorts of intellectual things”