𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲, I am so ready to kill off the S.T.A.R.S one by one.

𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲, Chris is a cunt.

𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲, It has come to my attention that I may very well have a son. This information dissatisfies me plenty.

𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲, Bravo's rookie seems to be evolved with a fugitive, and though I can not refute the fascination, this criminal is far too savage. Romancing a delinquent— the nerve. I admire her moxie, but I still have to penalize the action. Two week suspension.

𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲, I believe the brownies in the breakroom labeled "Get your own — Chris." were contaminated. Furthermore, the boulder in my office appears to be mouthing the words "Help me"

𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲, The earth is flat.

𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲, Officer Ryman from downstairs was discovered indulging for the duration of his shift last week. And so— I blackmailed him. Instead of the designated parking spot initially provided to me, I've acquired two. Dumbass..