18/ "The process seems to move from willful refusal to face truth to an inability to perceive truth easily." ~Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Preface to the Revised Edition" [Imagine calling trauma-induced memory loss/fragmentation "willful refusal to face truth"]

19/ "a willful, deep-hearted determination to push away what is true in order to embrace a 'truth' that violates the very nature of reality." ~Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Preface to the Revised Edition" [Imagine a counsellor telling you his reality is real, not yours]

20/ "It is my opinion that repression as a passive, unconscious process of forgetting does not exist. Instead, we do forget...but only by the extreme strategy of constantly pushing down truth in unrighteousness." ~D Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Preface to the Revised Edition"

21/ "I am often asked: 'Are you saying that even a five-year-old abuse victim suppresses truth in unrighteousness?' I wish the answer were neither complex nor easily misunderstood." ~Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Preface to the Revised Edition"

22/ "A five-year-old may not articulate this, & her flight from reality MAY BE inevitable, natural, & NOT BLAMEWORTHY, but it does arise out of the same rebellion from which the person at an older age will say...'Why should I trust God if He allowed this to happen to me?'" ~D.A.

23/ "Rather, recovered memories are data that help us see more clearly the energy that has fueled our idolatry and how we have lived out that idolatry in relating to God and others." ~Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Preface to the Revised Edition"

24/ "If we view idolatry, rather than the recovery of self, as the core issue in counseling, then we will find it harder to explain away sin because of abuse." ~Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Preface to the Revised Edition"

25/ "It's my opinion that therapy is a concession to our culture's refusal to talk & think meaningfully about our existence in light of the revealed will of God-The Bible" ~Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart" [Wow. I wonder if Allender adores Tim Keller's #ChristianMindProject?]

26/ "too many abuse victims have chose the path of least resistance and confronted family or abusers, and if it did not go well, cut off relationship. This path has tragically divided families ..." ~Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Preface to the Revised Edition"

27/ [Here ends the foreword, prologue, and preface. Quotes from Chapter 1 and onwards will continue as I'm able. Sharing quotes suggesting blameworthiness in victims of sexual abuse in Dan Allender's 1990 book "The Wounded Heart"]

28/ "To live significantly less than what one was made to be is as severe a betrayal of the soul as the original abuse" ~Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Chapter 1"

29/ "The fearful and fallen heart does not want to anguish over the loss of safety and nurturance; therefore, the damage is seemingly diminished in the relief that the perpetrator was not someone closer or that the damage could have been more severe." ~Dan Allender, "TWH"

30/ "a commitment never to be hurt again by the abuser creates a hard, inflexible exterior and, in turn, leads to the loneliness that the hardness was developed to avoid." ~Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart" "Chapter 2"

31/ "The victim's defensive armor will add more pain to her soul, and her pain will strengthen her resolve never to be hurt, inevitably increasing the wintery ice in her heart." ~Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart" "Chapter 2"

32/ "Simply put, the problem is the victim, leading to broken relationships, loneliness, depression, eating disorders, promiscuity, sexual coldness, and frightening rage. Something is wrong inside." ~Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart" "Chapter 2"

33/ "The enemy is sin...It is the victim's subtle or blatant determination to make life work on her own by refusing to acknowledge or let God fulfill her deepest longings." ~Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart" "Chapter 2" [Holy FSM y'all this is pretty gross]

34/ "A godly response in the face of abuse is to grieve-for the perpetrator's sin and for the damage done to our soul; ..." ~Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart" "Chapter 2"

35/ [Time for a palate cleanser after chapter 2. washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2023… Tweeting quotes from Dr. Dan Allender's 1990 book "The Wounded Heart" which could be understood as victim-blaming, etc. See first tweet in thread."]

36/ "The sexually abused person is in a war. The enemy is ultimately the Evil One and the path of loyalty to Satan's vision: rebellion, autonomy, or in other words, sin." ~Dr. Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Chapter 3"

37/ "Other-centered contempt is the easiest to comprehend. It ignores one's own depravity and centers the blame on another person's failure." ~Dr. Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Chapter 3"

38/ "Notice how a self-contemptuous woman handles a compliment about her attire. Very seldom will she warm to the remark; at times she may stiffen, or simply brush it off in a comical retort about her old outfit." ~Dr. Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Chapter 6"

39/ "Lisa was a bold, carefree Bohemian who wore clothes that were just beyond the border of propriety. Her dress was not provocative nor obviously seductive, but her mood was loose, free, and sensual." ~Dr. Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Chapter 7"

40/ "...the images caused by the internal damage of sexual abuse are most frequently seen in they way the person lives our her interpersonal relationships." ~Dr. Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Chapter 7"

41/ "...a woman...who was abused by several people, argued that her conversation & growth in Christ removed all the damage of the past abuse....Her life is symptom free; she is not depressed, sexually inactive or unfulfilled, undisciplined, or struggling with poor self image..."

42/ "...However, if the categories of measurement were allowed to be more refined & based on an outsider's observation, then her evaluation would be somewhat inaccurate. Her marriage is marred by her overbearing & patronizing tone. She is opinionated &, at times, insensitive..."

43/ "...Her manner is kind, though formal & uninviting. She sees herself as a submissive, spiritual woman, whose perspective is penetrating & accurate, rather than sharp & critical. It is my opinion that she has not escaped the consequences of her past abuse." ~D Allender, "TWH"

44/ [Question: Did Dr. Dan Allender obtain permission from these 45 humans, or from a human subjects committee, to use their private health data for published research? Tweeting quotes suggesting victim blameworthiness from Dr. Dan Allender's 1990 book "The Wounded Heart"]

45/ "Depression is 'selfless selfishness,' or perhaps better said, 'selfless revenge.' The self is annihilated, while those around are made impotent to stop the downward cycle of despair and hopelessness." ~Dr. Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Chapter 8"

46/ "Sexual perversion, normally labeled the paraphilias (exhibitionism, voyeurism, pedophilia, homosexuality, tranvestitism, and fetishism), is often highly correlated to abuse." ~Dr. Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Chapter 8"

47/ "Whenever a man struggles with a sexual perversion, I usually suspect a history of sexual abuse. This is even more true with a woman, because sexual perversions are primarily a male symptom." ~Dr. Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Chapter 8"

48/ [I see Dr. Dan Allender continued to list "homosexuality" as a paraphilia, calling it "perversion" in his 1990 book, even though it had been removed from DSM in 1987. Tweeting quotes suggesting victim blameworthiness from Dr. Dan Allender's 1990 book "The Wounded Heart"]

49/ "For example, a woman who has little interest in sex needs to admit that she is depriving her husband of legitimate intimacy and pleasure." ~Dr. Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Chapter 8"

50/ "Now she can view her problems [lack of interest in sex] as an internal (intrapsychich) and moral (interpersonal) issue rather than as a mystery or an irreversible fact." ~Dr. Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Chapter 8"

51/ "Desire can never be commanded, but desire should always be assumed. It is not that a homosexual lacks heterosexual desire. The fact is that the legitimate, God-built passion is not absent, but blocked." ~Dr. Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Chapter 8"

52/ "I've observed that bulimia is the 'symptom of choice' of many abused women." ~Dr. Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Chapter 8"

53/ "Imagine the powerlessness of being married to a woman whose every thought is of food." ~Dr. Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Chapter 8"

54/ "My understanding of personality assumes that style of relating can be substantially altered through repentance--a concept I will explain more fully in Chapter 11." ~Dr. Dan Allender, "The Wounded Heart", "Chapter 8" #ICanBarelyWait