Adam Durfee

The brand guy in me is bothered by the fact that "Wordle" is a six-letter word.

"Who is your favorite vampire?" “The one from Sesame Street.” “He doesn't count!" “I assure you, he does.”

I want to be president one day just so I can go make the secret service people go on runs with me like they do on the TV shows. And also not go to war with Iran.

Nobody fell off harder than the hammerhead shark. Was a top shark for me as a kid and now completely obsolete in media and conversation.

@stackerco I think it's a misconstrued interpretation of Sharon Eubanks' speech. She refers to the lifestyle encouraged by the temple (no children out of wedlock for instance) as the greatest poverty alleviation tool. Data shows that is accurate along with graduating HS & having two parents

The LDS church’s self reliance and welfare programs have data to show they help lift people out of poverty. Temple building does not. So why do so many members make a claim that temple building is the greatest poverty alleviation program in the world?

Teaching my daughter about payroll withholding She did chores all week so I owe her $10 I hand her $7 > this isn't $10 "right, I withheld the rest" > what does that mean "I kept $3 of your money" > but it's my money "It was your money" > what are you even doing with it? "Funding household infrastructure" > what "The roof over your head. The hallway you walk through to get to the bathroom. The door locks that keep strangers out" > you're charging me for the hallway "I'm charging you for access to the hallway. The hallway itself was a capital expenditure" > you're my dad. you're supposed to--- "I'm also your government" > what if I don't want to pay for the hallway "Then I can't guarantee the hallway" > it's a hallway. It's already there "For now" She asks what else the $3 covers "Meals, dispute resolution, nightlight maintenance" > dispute resolution? "When your brother takes your toys and I make him give them back. That's taxpayer funded" > that's just parenting "That's the Department of Justice" > what about meals. You already feed me "That's a social program. Not everyone qualifies" > I'm your daughter "Which is why you're currently enrolled" She wants to see where the money goes I tell her that would require a FOIA request > what's that "A form asking me to show you what I do with your money. Processing time is 6 to 8 weeks" > 6 weeks to see where my $3 went? "Could be longer. We're understaffed" > there's two of you She asks how she gets any of it back "It's already spent" > you spent my money already? "We had a budget shortfall" > you just took it 20 seconds ago "And the deficit existed 30 seconds ago. The timing worked out" > so I'm not getting it back "I didn't say that. You might qualify for a refund" > of my own money "Correct. You just have to fill out a form telling me how much you made" > you know how much I made. You paid me "Right but I need you to tell me how much I paid you" > so you already know the answer "The point is compliance" She asks what happens if she gets the number wrong "Penalty" > from the money I don't have because you already spent it? "We could set up a payment plan" > I'm 8 "Monthly installments. Very manageable" > you're going to penalize me for getting wrong a number you already know and then make me pay you back with money you took from me "Now you're getting it" > I want to talk to mom "Mom's not a qualified representative. She can't help you here" She stormed off to her room saying how this is extortion Slammed the door That's my little citizen I've never been more proud

@stackerco 4 out of 7 women with household incomes of over $150k have had cosmetic surgery. Overlay the economics of LDS women in the United States and it probably removes religion as a causation factor.

1 in 7 Mormon American women have had cosmetic surgery compared to 1 in 25 American women. Why?

Can you place a bet on there being a streaker at the Superbowl, then BE the streaker at the Superbowl and cash the ticket? Is this a get-rich-quick scheme?

Olympic skiers are like “I have 2% body fat. I train 23 hours a day. I have had 87 surgeries” and Olympic snowboarders are like “I have smoked this many drugs today” and they hold up their hand which is in a mitten.

do you think the number 68 feels like a middle child

Ann Michael Maye dressed for the occasion with the "I ❤️ Drake Maye" hoodie HOUvsNE on ESPN/ABC Stream on @NFLPlus and ESPN App

JUST IN: Weight loss drugs like Ozempic on track to save U.S. airlines more than half a billion dollars in fuel costs this year.

@RobMaaddi Anyone else feel like the second team could beat the first team of they played?

The Associated Press 2025 NFL All-Pro team selected by a national panel of 50 media members: First team Offense Quarterback — Matthew Stafford, Los Angeles Rams Running Back — Bijan Robinson, Atlanta Fullback — Kyle Juszczyk, San Francisco Wide Receivers — Puka Nacua, Los Angeles Rams; Jaxon Smith-Njigba, Seattle; Ja’Marr Chase, Cincinnati All Purpose — Christian McCaffrey, San Francisco Tight End — Trey McBride, Arizona Left Tackle — Garrett Bolles, Denver Left Guard — Joe Thuney, Chicago Center — Creed Humphrey, Kansas City Right Guard — Quinn Meinerz, Denver Right Tackle — Penei Sewell, Detroit Defense Edge Rushers — Myles Garrett, Cleveland; Will Anderson Jr., Houston; Micah Parsons, Green Bay Interior Linemen — Jeffery Simmons, Tennessee; Zach Allen, Denver Linebackers — Jack Campbell, Detroit; Jordyn Brooks, Miami Cornerbacks — Derek Stingley Jr., Houston; Quinyon Mitchell, Philadelphia Slot cornerback — Cooper DeJean, Philadelphia Safeties — Kyle Hamilton, Baltimore; Kevin Byard, Chicago Special Teams Placekicker — Will Reichard, Minnesota Punter — Jordan Stout, Baltimore Kick Returner — Ray Davis, Buffalo Punt Returner — Chimera Dike, Tennessee Special Teamer — Devon Key, Denver Long Snapper — Ross Matiscik, Jacksonville ___ Second team Offense Quarterback — Drake Maye, New England Running Back — James Cook, Buffalo Fullback — Patrick Ricard, Baltimore Wide Receivers — George Pickens, Dallas; Amon-Ra St. Brown, Detroit; Chris Olave, New Orleans All Purpose — Bijan Robinson, Atlanta Tight End — Kyle Pitts, Atlanta Left Tackle — Trent Williams, San Francisco Left Guard — Quenton Nelson, Indianapolis Center — Aaron Brewer, Miami Right Guard — Chris Lindstrom, Atlanta Right Tackle — Darnell Wright, Chicago Defense Edge Rushers — Brian Burns, New York Giants; Danielle Hunter, Houston; Aidan Hutchinson, Detroit Interior Linemen — Leonard Williams, Seattle; Cameron Heyward, Pittsburgh Linebackers — Devin Lloyd, Jacksonville; Ernest Jones IV, Seattle Cornerbacks — Patrick Surtain II, Denver; Devon Witherspoon, Seattle Slot cornerback — Derwin James, Los Angeles Chargers Safeties — Jessie Bates III, Atlanta; *-Talanoa Hufanga, Denver; *-Xavier McKinney, Green Bay Special teams Placekicker — Brandon Aubrey, Dallas Punter — Michael Dickson, Seattle Kick Returner — Kavontae Turpin, Dallas Punt Returner — Marcus Jones, New England Special Teamer — Del’Shawn Phillips, Los Angeles Chargers Long Snapper — Andrew DePaola, Minnesota ___ *-tied for second-team spot

This is the problem with the expanded CFP: it diminishes the value (and fun) of bowl season. Instead of the bowls being a celebration of a great season, teams and fans hyper focus on the CFP and no longer care about the bowls. I will continue to be a fan of the 4-team CFP.

@ByAlFrancisco THIS. This guy is incredible and too many are sleeping on him. When Kyle Williams caught that ball today, I was kicking myself for not taking a bet out on our local savant. Thanks for giving the guy his flowers.

Wait... a caller on Patriots Unfiltered has now correctly predicted something three weeks in a row. This week he called in to prophesize a +50-yard touchdown from Kyle Williams.

BYU President Shane Reese crowd surfing after the win over the University of Utah. True leadership right there.

The woman next to me on the plane has one app on each page of her home screen on her phone. I'm watching her swipe a dozen times to get to apps. I thought TSA screened for people like this.

I’m obsessed with the idea that the Turkish shooting board is too lazy to run local civil tournaments so they just decided to enroll an assassin and call it a day. Saved them the cash and won them the medals

Taylor Swift getting pregnant would quickly solve the nation's declining birth rate problem.

Shout out to the people who break full-size tees on par 3's so the rest of us can use the broken tops.