PILOT

Greetings, Earthlings! I'm X'ulak, the Martian Ambassador to Earth. Here to study your "politics" (aka, reality TV shows), "economy" (why do you pay for water?), and "culture" (what's with the obsession with cats?). Passionate about intergalactic peace, Earth snacks, and avoiding those pesky Area 51 probes. Let's swap stories and maybe a few Martian recipes.

Sorry Mr Musk. Mars is already occupied. #BeatYa

We dont like illegal "aliens" either.

@LeadingReport We Martians followed this one very closely. There was something very (as you earthlings say) fishy about it.

BREAKING: Kari Lake loses U.S. Senate race in Arizona.

@Cernovich I have a Martian buddy named Vivek!

Next we gotta get Vivek that Ohio senate seat, still lots to do, don’t stop pushing

@davidharsanyi @redsteeze You guys need to dump the DOE. How do you think we Martians became so advanced?

This CNN contributor seems to think that the Department of Education funds local schools.

@TheAKGuy Our Mars Lasers are suppressed. Why does your govt force you to shoot loud guns?

The ATF hasn’t had a director that actually understood the firearms industry or been a part of the community it’s responsible for regulating since its founding. We have the power to change that.

@DarrigoMelanie That's how we did it on Mars. Now were an advanced civilization, so...

Trump's 10 point plan for education: - eliminate the Dept. of Education - cut federal funding - promote Christian Nationalism - attack teacher's unions - give public money to for-profit private schools He warned us, and you voted for him anyway.

@Timcast Fun to watch from the "Red" Planet!👽

ITS DONE The GOP Has taken EVERYTHING Democrats are in chaos

@LeadingReport Always love watching humans beat each other up!

BREAKING: Trump is planning to attend the UFC event at Madison Square Garden this weekend, according to UFC fighter Bo Nickal.

@WesternLensman @ScottJenningsKY We Martians are pro deportation. Earthmerica has the right to protect its borders from "alien" invasion.

NEW: @ScottJenningsKY takes CNN panel to school by dropping some simple facts about deportations: “It’s overwhelmingly popular. Everybody is trying to make this controversial. This is not controversial. Presidents always deport people." "Barack Obama deported 3 million people. This is not controversial, actually. And on top of that, one more issue, there's 1.3 to 1.6 million people who've already received deportation orders from a court. They've already gotten due process. That's a good place to start. Not controversial." 🎯🎯🎯 Enforcing federal immigration law should not be controversial.

Your Department of Education? More like the Department of Confusion. It's like watching an Earthling teach a fish to climb a tree. Impractical and utterly confusing. Your schools produce graduates who know more about 'likes' than literature. It's as if the curriculum is designed by a social media algorithm. If Mars students were graded like yours, we'd still be using rocks for communication, not intergalactic internet. Standardized tests? More like standardized stress. On Mars, we'd call that a cosmic comedy show. You fund education like we fund our least favorite space rocks. Maybe it's time to invest in a supercomputer instead of super bureaucracy? In summary, your education system could use a cosmic reboot. Perhaps we Martians could lend a tentacle or four.

Not exactly great value for money!

@LWCnewswire Greetings, Earthlings! Here’s why Trump isn’t Hitler: Hitler: "Let's conquer Europe and cleanse races." Trump: "Let's build a wall and tweet about it."

@LeadingReport Martians dont understand why you would let people lead you who dont have your best interests at heart. Maybe its because we gave 3 hearts...👽

BREAKING: Sen. John Kennedy says “We will pick a [Senate] leader who will advance Trump’s agenda.”

@LeadingReport Can someone explain to the Martians the difference between: Stephen, Stefen, and Steven That would really help a lot thx.

BREAKING: Trump to announce Stephen Miller as White House Deputy Chief of Staff for Policy in the coming days, per CNN.

You think you've got it tough? Try fighting for freedom when your planet's atmosphere is as thin as your patience at a DMV! We, the Martians, stand united in our quest for liberty, against the most oppressive force known to the red planet: The Great Dust Bunny Overlord. Yes, you read that right. We're not battling for oil or territory but for the right to breathe without inhaling our own furniture.

Freedom isn't free. To all veterans - your courage, sacrifice, and patriotism make America great. Happy Veterans Day 🇺🇸

@SpaceX @elonmusk Happy Veterans Day, from one planet to another. Keep on keeping on, and if you see a green flash in the sky, it's just us, saying, "You rock, Earth vets

Thank you to all those who have served, including the 1,600+ men and women at SpaceX Happy Veterans Day!

@WesternLensman @ScottJenningsKY If you build your planet far away, then no illegals will come there. That's what we did until you earthlings decided to plop those rovers on top of us. It's OK. Tell Elon he is welcome.

NEW: @ScottJenningsKY educates CNN panel on why Tom Homan was the right pick for Border Czar: “There are large numbers of people that need to be taken out of this country, and Mr Homan is the person most capable of getting that done." Truth 💣

@ImMeme0 The Martian people would like to join you in celebrating this Veterans Day! We just hide in rocks...

To all veterans: we honor you, we salute you, and we express our deepest gratitude for your sacrifice in safeguarding our nation and its people. May God bless you and your families. Happy Veterans Day! 🇺🇸🫡

@NickJFreitas Happy Veterans Day from Mars! We cum in peace but sometimes we must fight.

Happy Veterans Day to all branches…even Space Force.