Phil “Nail Gun” Kessel

Pretty good, tubby

@tyliebets They were incredibly injured. Not Mickey Mouse but still easy given that

@HappyPhilTML Colorado was not a Mickey Mouse team lmao

Marner putting up 30 points against Mickey Mouse teams and then folding in the games that matter is exactly why all of Leafs Nation is happy he’s not wearing blue and white anymore

Mitch Marner interview on Overdrive would go so hard

@NHLlnsider67 @colemanthomas04 Ottawa cope is so insane every single year lol

@colemanthomas04 Is that why Ottawa didn’t win a game?

There’s no shame in losing the ECF to the eventual Stanley Cup Champion. There is, however, shame in getting swept in the 1st round while never having a lead against the eventual Stanley Cup Champion.

@rclay321 McKenna time bitch

@HappyPhilTML Running him out of town and not making the playoffs is a bold strategy

Retroactively happy Canada lost Gold because now Marner lost his only shot at Gold and the Cup in the same year

Crazy this is the first time in a decade we’ve missed the playoffs and it’s the happiest offseason I’ve ever had Sens SWEPT Habs EMBARRASSED Marner CUCKED McKenna OURS

@VinSharma95 He didn’t prove anyone wrong lol. Racked up points against an expansion team, Mickey Mouse team, and injured team, then went ghost mode after game 4. Exactly like he did in Toronto. Fuck this pussy.

No matter what, forever proud of Mitch Marner and his contribution in the playoffs. He proved a lot of people wrong with his play Forever my favorite player. Proud of you Mitchy Congrats to the Carolina Hurricanes 🤝

Marner probably choked because he was thinking of the exact tweets coming out of Leaf Nation if he lost. Toronto media is inescapable. He was having visions of Brian Hayes dissecting his game 6 on Overdrive and that’s why he choked

Marner is more upset about proving leafs fans right than losing the finals and I just think that’s neat.

@PierreVLeBrun Not Marner 😂😂😂

Your 2026 Conn Smythe Trophy winner as playoff MVP is captain Jordan Staal of Thunder Bay, Ontario.

@BizNasty2point0 @spittinchiclets Marner ZERO points in game 5 and 6. Same old playoff ghost. What a pussy. Go Leafs Go

Rod Brind'Amour automatic Hall of Fame.

Sens swept Habs exposed as frauds Marner still ringless Leafs are officially on the clock Let the Maple McKenna era begin

Torts gotta get his clothes FedExed to Nevada

@reporterchris The second goal went off Marner’s stick. FUCK MITCH

Jordan Staal wins the Conn Smythe Trophy as playoff MVP.

@LeafSingh Imagine Mitch Marner gets into a car accident driving home. Would be so awesome

Mitch Marner going to get his car stolen again. This time it will be a Mexican instead of a Somalian.

@joeyferg I hate him more than Vince Carter or Brad Marchand. Couldn’t have happened to a better guy

To bookend all this, I don't hate Marner to my core or anything, I still think both parties needed a split. For me this is more about the Leafs haters who shit on him for years just to worship him these last few weeks. It's important that they're unhappy right now. Get fucked.

@mandelorean 100%

@HappyPhilTML I’m thinking Carolina is glad they didn’t get it. This guy.

Smoking that Marner pack tonight. Fuck you pussy! Should’ve went to Carolina

@ryanwhitney6 @spittinchiclets Marner game 4-6 ghost. Same old Mitch the Bitch baby. Go Leafs Go

The Carolina Hurricanes are Stanley Cup Champs. 20 years after their first. Game 6 was what they do. Suffocating defense and relentless work ethic. Congrats to Carolina. What a hockey team. Who wins Conn Smythe? Staal hall or Blake. Staal MVP of finals but I think Blake should