One Thousand Basis Points Of Light

We can’t deport Haitians because then a Chinese meat packing cartel wouldn’t be able pay their federally subsidized foreign workforce less than a Sheetz cashier

@HarmlessYardDog If you're going to hell, bring your own comfy handbasket.

Every day Me: Joke Person: That’s not true Me: Right, it’s a joke Person: It is wrong Me: Incongruity and inaccuracy are the basis of humor Person: But it’s not true

My stepfather was part of the Verizon layoffs several months ago after 10 years. He’s a data scientist. He’s applied everywhere. He can’t find work. He has a Master’s from Fordham University. This is exactly the kind of person we’re told the economy is built for. Educated. Experienced. Proven. And yet, he’s being passed over. While we’re told there’s a “shortage” of qualified workers. There isn’t a shortage. There’s a system that would rather replace Americans than invest in them. And people like him are paying the price.

@DrunkRepub I think they use aquatic life as currency. They'd ask "Can I borrow a few squid?"

Great Britain asking Mississippi to borrow $20

BREAKING: DHS confirms that the suspect arrested for attempting to rape a woman while she was waiting for a rideshare in Arlington County, VA is a Guatemalan illegal alien who entered the US as a gotaway & has at least 25 prior charges in the county going back to 2020. Police in Arlington County arrested 28-year-old Luzvin Orvando Garcia Moran for the attempted rape after they say he approached the woman early Sunday morning while she was waiting to be picked up, then shoved her against a wall where he physically and sexually assaulted her until two good Samaritans intervened. DHS says his prior charges in Arlington County include nine counts of being intoxicated in public, assault and battery, disorderly conduct, attempting to disarm a law enforcement officer, and several probation violations. DHS statement: “Virginia's sanctuary policies allowed this illegal alien to go on a crime spree,” said Acting DHS Assistant Secretary Lauren Bis. “Despite prior arrests by law enforcement, this criminal was released from jail multiple times before he went on to commit this attempted heinous rape. We are calling on Arlington County sanctuary politicians and Governor Abigail Spanberger to commit to not releasing this criminal from jail back into our communities. How many more times must they release criminals into our neighborhoods to create more innocent victims?”

SOCIALISM: Kansas City’s taxpayer funded grocery store turned out to be a huge success in teaching residents that socialism doesn’t work. Shelves empty, food rotten, and rampant theft.

If the UK joined the US as the 51st state. We would be the poorest state in the entire union. Mississippi which is portrayed at swamp dwelling hillbillies in majority of international media is above us. I don’t think people grasp how far we’ve fallen in real terms when it comes to GDP per capita. We’ve seen no growth for almost an entire generations. We’ve seen our productivity decrease and our tax increases. The average person on the UK, on £50,000 is less well off than your average Mississippi swamp dweller.

She's telling us how journalism works now.

@MrDavidAngelo The pharmacist's bumper sticker says "Ask me about your warts."

Do pharmacists ever get depressed that they're doctors and they work at Walgreens? It's like if a gastroenterologist had to work two shifts a week at Chipotle.

@CourtAnne1225 A good headline makes people want to read the story. A great headline makes them say "What the f***?"

Is this a real headline in local news? Yes. Yes it is

@bostonradio The inspiration for the novel "Dwarf Rapes Nun, Flees In UFO."

Happy “Headless Body In Topless Bar” Day, if you're observing it... 43 years ago today, April 15, 1983, the legendary NY Post managing editor, the late Vincent A. Musetto wrote the greatest headline of all time…

@braxton_mccoy @DaleStarkA10 Surf Feminazis?

@DaleStarkA10 See, that's who you should take surfing

I’ve angered the feminazis with this post. 😂

@TheDemocrats Still harping on liquidating the kulaks, I see.

TAX THE RICH

@awstar11 Liquidate the Kulaks as a class!

We’re back to Soviet era sloganeering

The Somali Community Of Minnesota Would Like To Remind America That Today Is Tax Day buff.ly/HayMt67

@awstar11 In the words of George Will, a pyromaniac in a field of straw men.

This is literally a genocide against strawmen. Does anyone know how to file charges with the ICC?

@redsteeze "...lavish NYC lifestyle..." That's really just living indoors and eating regularly.

SantaCon is a domestic terror organization.

@nypost "...lavish NYC lifestyle..." That's really just living indoors and eating regularly.

SantaCon founder nabbed for spending charity donations on lavish NYC lifestyle, vacations trib.al/kdcFRkU