rogue scone

Interviewer: *looking at my resume* says here you’re an "aspiring side piece”? Me: that’s my 5 year plan, within 10 years I hope to be murdered in a jealous rage. You know, before the air quality gets too too bad...

@Johntheduncan the face lift is face lifting

Every time I've scrolled past this picture I've thought it was that billionaire guy who drinks his sons blood or whatever

@1followernodad ok but it would be fun, and we need to have some fun

anyone could do it and it would be fun but it would not remove the issue that we are up against an entire class of billionaires who want all this stuff to happen

@HIRAESCUE YASSSS x.com/fckboyseatpizz…

A husband is a doordasher that you marry

@franifio …so far

A bill that takes healthcare from 12 million people and gives $10 billion towards Mars exploration is the closest the rich have ever come to grinding up poor people and turning them into rocket fuel.

@AOC Healthcare is a HUMAN RIGHT in every country but this one. Being treated for illness or injury is a no-brainer because we have the technology and it isn’t ACTUALLY expensive to help people who are injured or sick. Whether you’re a citizen, immigrant, traveler, visitor, tourist

@AOC I’ve traveled all over the world w friends and when we needed medical attention, we were given access to that country’s medical services. After we were treated - if there was a bill - the staff was apologetic to be charging us at all. AND the bill was AFFORDABLE (>$100)!

Not one federal dollar currently goes to giving undocumented people Medicaid and you know that. What DOES need to be said is that Republicans are set to kick 17 million Americans off their health insurance. Even GOP Senators admitted this. And Floridians are going to suffer.

@wildethingy “careering” is spot on 😭😭😭

I prefer not to think of it as getting older and more as careering headlong towards death.

@acnewsitics Time to start reminding them that Christians have and continue to shoot up schools, movie theaters, night clubs, grocery stores, etc. etc. etc. on US soil

Muslims died on 9/11. Muslims ran into the rubble. Muslims served and died in the wars that followed. Muslims fought and died for your right to be this racist.

@covie_93 NATO has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever

If there was any justice in this world trump would be at The Hague today for the start of his trial instead of a NATO summit.

@AOC it's giving, "yeah. im not reading all that. sorry that happened. or congrats. or whatever" lol ilysm

Mr. President, don’t take your anger out on me - I’m just a silly girl. Take it out on whoever convinced you to betray the American people and our Constitution by illegally bombing Iran and dragging us into war. It only took you 5 months to break almost every promise you made.

@IGN can he not?

Jeremy Allen White is Bruce Springsteen in the new trailer for Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere

Lying and flip-flopping and indecision really having a long ass moment right now

Crazy, if true

@yeeeerika anything by Spoon

songs to eat soup to

@AGoldmund The nail tapping is so gross

@BeardsonBeardly extra points if you blow them up because you think their houses should belong to you and you don’t like the way they look

Calling my house “Israel” so I can get free government checks and the ability to blow up my neighbors for being annoying

@Vhalechark vaccinate me against men

A penis is just a hypodermic meat needle for injecting sperms

@Vhalechark so true, bestie

@bobbylikesbeers it needs chive cream cheese, we know this

everyone wants the bagel to be everything but no one asks if the bagel needs anything