Hot Local Single

If you enter my DMs just know you have to open with something as good as this otherwise I’m not answering

Jose Alvarado tackled Wemby and Iverson stepped over him 😭😭

Me after one sip of the Iranian beer

This is crazy

Worked a party and got tipped plus the guests gave me a bottle of wine. Which I have already drank the entirety of

Just booked a Soviet sleeper train from Bucharest to aChisinau I’m so excited omg

.@69lostants fell off

Working every day this weekend I better get good tips

Faking a head injury after getting a question wrong at bar trivia

@TheLordT_Money Happy birthday king!

It's my birthday today so that means everyone has to tell me how awesome they think I am right NOW

Calling up McDonald’s to make a reservation

@69LostAnts You need to file an appeal and you’re supposed to keep applying for unemployment every week until they get back to you on the appeal

how do i appeal an unemployment denial when i quit for hostility/emotional distress reasons and win lol #help #serious #serioustweetingsorry

@h1ghfieri Your pronouns are wasting thousands of gallons of water every day and producing super high carbon emissions

Was arguing with my coworker about how bad AI is and how morally wrong it is, and he said “some might say that about your pronouns”

@angyghoul I really admire his dedication

@hotlocal_single “I’d die for this company” is taking me OUT

Thank you Joel!

Just made more tips than I ever did made a grand in a night it was crazy

@Thespihonest115 You

@hotlocal_single What's a chud

Coworker just asked if I know what a chud is

@hotlocal_single wtf I’m so jealous

I saw the American woodcock in Bryant park just saying

Just booked a flight to Romania I’m so excited

Wore a John Cena shirt to my first day of summer camp when I was a kid and everyone called me Cena. I walked into a bar the other day and the bartender shouted omg it’s Cena! It’s been at least 18 years idk how he remembered that