synced

schweinsteiger in front of his tele when we finally win the league

we’re so unbelievably back

@InvertTheWing You are the greatest human of all time

I have just awoken from an absolutely crazy nightmare. It starts, I am having dinner with Pep Guardiola and Mikel Arteta, at Salt Bae’s restaurant in London. We are exchanging tactical ideas. But halfway through this dinner, I try to check my phone, because I had no update from my friend Ange Postecoglou, who was also meant to attend this dinner. I spend minutes looking for it, not even focusing on the accent. Mikel says to me, “No, no… we speak about de phone later, eh? Now we are here, we enjoy de dinner… fully. Dis is de moment, yeah? You have to be present.” I obey, as I do not want to kill the vibe. Dinner goes on, we share some Sangria wine, eat steak. And of course, share tactical ideas. The dinner comes to an end, and I offer to pay. “No, no, no… you are our guest, my friend. I will not let you pay, eh. IMPOSSIBLE! Today, we take care of you, this is how we do, yeah?”, says Pep Guardiola. But Arteta, he has his own idea “No, Josep… let him, eh. It is good for him. He will learn a lot from dis… you understand? Sometimes, you have to experience dese things, yeah?” I oblige. I pay the bill for £1568.34, as it was all of our families enjoying the meal. But I still do not have my phone, and I complain to the restaurant staff. They told me it is my problem. Mikel Arteta offers to drive me to the police station, so I get into his Mercedes Benz GLE. I say my goodbyes to Pep Guardiola and his family, and go with Mikel. He tells me “I need to get something at my place first, eh. Then we go. Everything step by step, yeah?”, with a bit of a laugh. I am the passenger, so I can do nothing but agree. We get to his house, he tells me “You can come with me, eh… while we wait. We are like family here, you understand? Always together, yeah?” I feel flattered. He tells me I can look around, make myself at home, and tells me to check his office. Pitch black. I go to turn on the light. The door locks. A lightbulb shines. And a masked figure appears. The masked figure takes out his mask. It is Ange Postecoglou. He says to me “You left your phone, mate”. And gives it back to me. I ask him, “where were you, Ange? You missed our dinner! Why couldn’t you come?” Out of nowhere, Mikel Arteta comes out. “No, no. Don’t worry about him, eh. We focus on us.” “I cannot believe this, eh! I bring Ange, okay, yes, this is on me, I accept BUT YOU… you do nothing?! He is in your pocket! IN YOUR POCKET! And you are just there… like this doing NOTHING?! Where is the awareness? Where is the aggression?! You have to compete, even at the dinner table, eh! This is the standard! I cannot come here, organise everything, trust the process… and then you allow a pickpocket in front of me?! No, this is too much! You have to be sharper! You have to suffer! You have to feel it! Because this… this is not acceptable at this level, yeah?!” He throws my phone on the floor out of anger. “You have to leave my house. Now. No more discussion. This is the decision. Because if we accept this… we accept everything. And I will not allow that, yeah?” I leave. I am disgusted with myself. He has made me feel embarrassed. I could not even catch up with Ange, but why would Ange agree to this? I felt betrayed. And then I woke up.

@Manny_Official score a pen

What do you reckon Salah will do next?

@cinnabrit u da real art

I left them in 💛 and I like them a lot!

@BMPCSAFC Lewis Bowden for person of the year 2026

BRIAN BROBBEY VS NUFC #safc

@JonnyBones I get my first car tomorrow John mate

Happy Sunday everybody, send me two reasons why you’re grateful today and I’ll repost

@J0NMAY you’ve got the brains of a inbred midget who’s been raised by dogs

1-0 and got 2 players to assist? The odds would have been higher for Gabriel to score. In conclusion: this dean fella is a prawn

Bruno pots 🔜

if arteta had a willy bigger than 2 inches max dowman would be on the pitch by now

@Gozie_5 @Tgarratt10 @SunderlandAFC @PitchSideTweets

@Tgarratt10 @SunderlandAFC @PitchSideTweets Can I be added in this GC?

SUNDERLAND SCORE IN THE 90TH MINUTE!!!!!

@Vararse_ @Ic3Evaa disrespecting Kobbie mainoo, inverttthewing and Theo baker massively here

@Ic3Evaa You might be top 1 human in the British isles

@geordiejosh Surely if you want to punish him, you keep him at Newcastle??? He’ll only upgrade 🤣🤣🤣

Yoane Wissa liking Sunderland’s Instagram photo of their MOTM after the derby. Release that weak, puny little excuse of a man right this instant. PATHETIC FOOTBALLER, BIGGEST WASTE OF MONEY THIS CLUB HAS EVER SPENT. FUCK OFF.

@bet365 #POTM365 madueke

🚨 £𝟱𝟬 in Free Bets to be won! Who will be the Player of the Match in the EFL Cup final? Reply with your prediction & include #POTM365 in your entry. Entrants must have a fully verified bet365 account in order to claim a prize. T&Cs apply.

@PitchSideTweets Most definitely is

Theo reckons Joao Pedro is better than Pele...

@SaeedTV_ greatest of all time mate, you finished it?

Why didn’t people tell me about Breaking Bad earlier? Shit is fire! 🔥

@Jaack top stuff this jack!!

Swallow a spoonful of cinnamon with no water

@shemrockufc ahahah proper useless mong you 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Fight day

Szoboszlai sot surely there

2 points of city if it wasn’t for Stuart Attwell, twat