normal

We’re having an energy crisis. There’s no more Red Bull or coffee left!

@worldly_bee No one ever said it would be easy

@34yearoldfriend bruh I can't keep up, you go from high to low and back again too quickly

I’m so lost. I have nothing.

Holding a press conference to prove to people I’m actually alive

Taking out the trash is a man’s job. Women are too dainty and hysterical to handle it.

Current Event + Popular Meme = Hit

Fame would absolutely ruin me so God protects me from it by making me unpalatable to many people

You can’t just return to your normal life after going viral

I was craving buffalo chicken pizza yesterday but I had to wait until today to order it. I hope I enjoy it still. When you can’t capitalize on a desire, it can fade away. I could learn something from this but I won’t.

March Calmness. No brackets, no betting. College students aren’t cattle.

@BabsArtist I don’t think so

@34yearoldfriend No it doesn't it stands for Mario

The M in Super Mario’s red hat stands for MAGA unfortunately

Sometimes I wonder

Who needs a wife and kids when you have your favorite TikTok streamer playing Pokopia at 1:30am?

Which Mike’s brand will assert their Mike’s dominance by celebrating this viral moment by giving me lots of freebies and/or some cold hard cash???

Is Mike’s Hot Honey, Mike’s Hard Lemonade, and Jersey Mike’s all the same Mike?

(Something magically works out in my favor) only you can control your destiny

Jobs should let you take the day off work if you have a bad dream

There are so many brands that should let me post for them

Are we in World War 3 or does that only start once the nukes fly?

If we make it to 2028, President Newsom will be a relief to many as a return to a younger, slicker leader who isn’t afraid to wear button down shirts with no tie and jeans but I fear he’ll do a lot of standard Presidential fucked up stuff under the guise of a VC/tech founder aura