Alan Twochips

@I_amMukhtar Spiv-u-like

This guy is a nazi.

@Izumi_Sunagawa The Empire is eternal.

一体、どこの国の駅なのか？ 日本の駅で英語メインの案内とか、 本当に日本人を馬鹿にしてるよな。

@NoContextBrits Imagine being arsed to cut toast

pro tip: to transfer a file quickly between computers just copy the file you want, disconnect your mouse, plug it into the other pc and paste

@DrRebeccaTidy Hippies are and always have been the most unfeasibly insufferable wastemen. Feed them to the pigs tbh, in public.

I just saw this insanely prescriptive dress code for a one-day festival in the woods near Leeds & I initially thought it was a joke, but – turns out – it's not. 😂

@xxsnzz If a song was punchable.

@ShakeLS Yes, sadly. I opened BOTH my bedroom windows last night, and woke up this morning to armed police at the foot of my bed shouting "get your trousers on, you're nicked". Starmer's Britain in a nutshell.

Is it true that you can't open your window in the UK? Apparently it's illegal?? Seriously?

@PosXisa12654 @BeksChaps @dontforgetchaos Use of "snowflake" in 2026 subtracts all credibility from your argument.

@BeksChaps @dontforgetchaos In 2020 and still now in some remarkable cases, the real snowflakes, the supremely gullible, have been fearful of the very air we breath ..

A&E Doctors collectively scream …..”NO”

@taxidamien It's Tuesday m8

The Monday Club is definitely a thing of the past but I suppose it's hard to have any sympathy for publicians who took their Judas money to keep quiet during the scamdemic.

@Yoda001 Go outside for a bit, Roy- it's lovely.

So Oxford UK is to become a 15 minute city in August. Do people realise what a 15 minue City is?????? Do you realise they need a pass to leave it, even to go to work???? That they are fined if they go over the pass limit. They must have facial recognition cameras everywhere!!!!! Anyone on here from Oxford?????

@adoughtyimages @AmandaB55744931 Can't have people enjoying themselves on their own property.

@AmandaB55744931 I fully sympathise. Yesterday I went in the garden, stinks of weed, music loud on a phone, in my living room I can hear the grown man playing guitar hero (which is every single night), and the teenagers shouting out the front. Oh and the eternal summer bonfire smell.

Another day of hell with the neighbours. Shouting and screaming all day. It has finally gone quiet now. I can’t open the doors or windows or go in my garden. I hate them.

@MillwallTT Derby - DLF

The Championship next year is literally the 1970/80’s tear up league: Millwall West Ham Birmingham Boro Cardiff Pompey Sheffield United Stoke Swansea Oh and Charlton are also in the League. Have I missed anyone out?

@simphiweyinkoc_ Sick of cunts putting salt on them.

Y’all remember how when it rained, all the earth worms 🪱 would come out and we would put salt on them? Why don’t they come out anymore?

@ham_ezz Is this the yard in Armley nick?

For you london lot moaning about “we’ve got good pubs!”, i present to you a huge beer garden with a huge telly and two drinks for less than 7 quid. Supreme northern victory.

I like how Londoners get wound up that people from up north won’t go to one of their pubs to spend £7.50 on a pint while having to listen to Chuggsy talk about his wild night out with Tarquin where they drank IPAs on the local common

@Wheeeel @APBkopite @JamesEllin_AFC Get a grip, Will.

@APBkopite @JamesEllin_AFC It's illegal to possess for a start. It's a gateway drug to class a. And it stinks

Buzz ball drinking spliff smoking unable to name 5 players gimps coming to the parade for the day out please fuck off and stay home this ain't Notting Hill carnival 👍👍

@cottagec0re_ @equine__dentist Do it.

@equine__dentist I’d love to lay an egg instead of being unwell for 4+ days every month

no offence

@cascadingecho @liminal__dreams Covent Garden, London.

@liminal__dreams Somehow makes me feel like it’s in England

@TheUltimatePint "Pints"

Couple pints of Pilsner Urquell, Krakow 🇵🇱