AmberTozer

Dating is collecting information about someone until you realize you don't like them

NOW ANNOUNCED! 2024 Adaptation results: - WINNER - "180 Days" by Alfredo Botello - RUNNER-UP - "Sober Stick Figure" by @AmberTozer Beyond excited to work with these two vastly talented writers and help push their projects to film or TV... 🦊 bookpipeline.com/2024-adaptatio…

@DaveBngDave Oh gawd I can not imagine

@AmberTozer Like I'm being opressed. Truthfully, I don't even have a cat so it's even worse.

Was trying to be more curious than judgmental when dealing with people who upset me but I am gonna go back to straight up judging ‘em

@MikeKnoxComedy That’s right ❤️

@AmberTozer It all works out in the end

Little animation I made with my nieces for ⁦@taylorswift13⁩ 💜

been gaming surrounded by Black Mold for 30 yrs. so when i game in a clean room its like the training weights come off & i become full power

@DougieHarrower I think I have been …. Maybe they will stop later today

When are all the influencers gonna stop

Women my age keep telling me I should try hormonal replacement therapy and I am like fuck you I am gonna get fat and mean like the good Lord intended

For years I tortured myself trying to become rich and famous and then I realized all I needed was a dog

This is the best thing in the history of life.

computer please generate 7 more godfather movies for $0 and make them all really good

@AshRendar82 Ah thanks for sharing 😇

I love this by @AmberTozer

@PeterSteinberg1 ❤️❤️❤️

@iamjakamo Ok I will work on it thank you for reaching out and reading my book ❤️

@AmberTozer Ive just read your book and now missing you…write another please

every waiter who has ever ejaculated into my food Fuck you

Exxon just reported record profits for the first quarter of this year, raking in $11.43 billion. The oil giant now has $33 billion cash on hand. Say it with me, corporate greed is driving inflation, not workers demanding better wages and benefits.

@SoVeryBritish Talk about it non stop even if they witnessed a murdered that day they would only talk about the weather … maybe they would casually mention they witnessed an insidious crime at dinner after they showed everyone their sunburn … idk

What’s something only Brits do when the sun comes out?

@bobhaleyjr Yeah and some people don’t even get that 😭

Do you wanna be in my family all you have to do is not communicate and buy all your gifts at Ross