Scott Kirkpatrick

The most relatable thing Elon ever did was ruin a good thing.

@clintonyates I’m simultaneously you and Darns

So, yesterday when planning this morning’s meetup, I realized that I pretty much never change my phone alarm memos once Ive set them once and I basically never delete the times either, just toggle them on and off. I cannot be alone in this

What’s good in Cincinnati?

Kentucky buds: logging back in briefly to tell y’all I’ll be in Cinci/NKY/Louisville next week selling wine. Text me for more info.

I’m going to take this tiny opportunity to be the one who leaves first this time. IG name is the same but might leave there too. Take care of y’all’s selves and look out for those around you. I’ll be building my boat in Zihuatanejo if you need to find me.

@JomiAdeniran Not for petty reasons but occasionally just to see what catches.

Random question for the masses as this hellsite stutters down Do y’all really check who views your story? I have never participated in that particular activity and I’m quickly finding out I am in the minority here 😂

@dolovewalk_rn @55mmbae @LonelyTalegater March ‘09 represent

Me & the other 2009 Twitter users busting into the Twitter headquarters tonight

@MRomero510 @hisexcellence79 Finally going on Sunday

Let’s watch a basketball game #KOTD #1of1s @hisexcellence79

I DO NOT CONSENT TO TWITTER USING MY TWEETS WITHOUT PERMISSION. THEY ARE TO BE DELETED, ASHAMED OF, AND HIDDEN DEEP DOWN IN A DARK PLACE.

@svershbow Don’t forget a hatchet for some reason

Every gift guide for men is like: -whiskey stones -beard oil -personalized grilling accessory -Jonathan Franzen novel -beer of the month club -novelty socks -leather weekend bag -bluetooth speaker

I’ve been on Twitter for almost as long as I’ve been drinking wine.

@jaythechou If this goes away, I will miss it.

I Photoshop paddington into a movie, game, or TV show until I forget: Day 619

@godigahole The band Jaguar Love screamed at me and cussed me out from the stage (got the whole crowd to point and yell fuck you to me) at a SXSW show because they thought I had messed with their soundboard. I was standing near it (small-ish venue), but had absolutely not touched it.

The lead singer from Trapt threw a several-day-long tantrum over me and and a couple of my friends making fun of his stupid song

are we doing mastodon... like be serious with me. are we

@DetroitOnLion Rogers gave him a little ayahuaska

Did Aaron Jones just make a first down sign 4 yards short of the sticks?

@minakimes @billbarnwell I remember you being a guest on his show and being floored by how refreshing your perspective was and then getting so stoked when you got your own show and ESPN Daily. Love how you did the same thing for other people too.

Okay let's get sentimental: Who is someone you met #onhere who helped you in some way? Mine is @billbarnwell. If I didn't meet him 10+ years ago, there's no way I'd be doing what I do now for a living. Truly cherish his friendship and advice.

@quinnseanm Kind of where I’m leaning.

Should I go see The Menu or She said tonight?

@miguelio75 Actually great suggestion.

@CellaringScott Spray paint them on walls?

Where am I going to put jokes of questionable taste if not in my Twitter Drafts?

@ClaireMPLS @RexChapman Jesus

i needed a “you’re about to bawl your eyes out” warning @RexChapman