Alena's Chit Chat 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 🍅

Hope everyone survives the Ides of March.

@MikeBales Then you could have a debate on the virtue of longjohns with the 'escape hatch'.

I’m going to create a website called “Older Fans” where I just tell you which part of my body hurts today and what tiny task caused it!

@Karancarte2289 @PinocchPrincess @CeeBeeCeeBee__ Ditto. Now unfollowed & blocked.

Be aware folks. I was following this account and I would never have followed an account like this. I believe it was @CeeBeeCeeBee__ old account that has been taken over and changed everything. *Also note that it is Comunity in their @ not spelt correctly!

@PinocchPrincess She has a "jam empire"?

The most laughable post for a long time! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@Bobbybollocks2 I couldn't see my way to the station, lol.

@ChitChat5 Should have come here😁😁

Beautiful day for the beach

@DeanSmi47962704 Was that taken when Labour aligned themselves to PIE?

Evil bastards! 😡

@HannahIamthest1 You missed out the orange man that slapped people.

Me behave? Seriously? As a child I saw Tarzan almost naked, Cinderella arrived home after midnight, Pinocchio told lies, Aladdin was a thief, Batman drove over 200 miles an hour, Snow White lived in a house with 7 men, Popeye smoked a pipe and had tattoos, Pac Man ran around to digital music while eating pills that enhanced his performance, and Shaggy and Scooby were mystery solving hippies that always had the munchies. The fault is not mine! If you had this childhood and loved it, repost I thought this would bring a smile to your face lol it did mine!!! 🤣🤣

Stolen from another page. AWKWARD BRITISH PROBLEMS: 🇬🇧Staring at your phone in silent horror until the unknown number stops ringing 🇬🇧Hearing a recording of your own voice and deciding it’s perhaps best never to speak again 🇬🇧The relief when someone doesn’t answer their phone within three rings and you can hang up 🇬🇧Filming an entire fireworks display on your phone, knowing full well you’ll never, ever watch it again 🇬🇧 Mishearing somebody’s name on the second time of asking, meaning you must now avoid them forever 🇬🇧 Leaving it too late to correct someone, meaning you must live with your new name forever 🇬🇧 Running out of ways to say thanks when a succession of doors are held for you, having already deployed ‘cheers’, ‘ta’ and ‘nice one’ 🇬🇧 Changing from ‘kind regards’ to just ‘regards’, to indicate that you’re rapidly reaching the end of your tether 🇬🇧 Realising you’ve got about fifty grand’s worth of plastic bags under your kitchen sink 🇬🇧"You’ll have to excuse the mess” – Translation: I’ve spent seven hours tidying in preparation for your visit 🇬🇧 Indicating that you want the last roast potato by trying to force everyone else to take it 🇬🇧 "I’m off to bed” – Translation: “I’m off to stare at my phone in another part of the house” 🇬🇧 The overwhelming sorrow of finding a cup of tea you forgot about 🇬🇧 Turning down a cup of tea for no reason and instantly knowing you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake 🇬🇧 Suddenly remembering your tea and necking it like a massive, lukewarm shot 🇬🇧 Waiting for permission to leave after paying for something with the exact change 🇬🇧 Saying hello to a friend in the supermarket, then creeping around like a burglar to avoid seeing them again 🇬🇧 Watching with quiet sorrow as you receive a different haircut to the one you requested 🇬🇧 Being unable to pay for something with the exact change without saying “I think that’s right” 🇬🇧 Overtaking someone on foot and having to keep up the uncomfortably fast pace until safely over the horizon 🇬🇧 Being unable to turn and walk in the opposite direction without first taking out your phone and frowning at it 🇬🇧 Deeming it necessary to do a little jog over zebra crossings, while throwing in an apologetic mini wave 🇬🇧 Punishing people who don’t say thank you by saying “you’re welcome” as quietly as possible 🇬🇧 Loudly tapping your fingers at the cashpoint, to assure the queue that you’ve asked for money and the wait is out of your hands 🇬🇧 Looking away so violently as someone nearby enters their PIN that you accidentally dislocate your neck 🇬🇧 Being sure to start touching your bag 15 minutes before your station, so the person in the aisle seat is fully prepared for your exit 🇬🇧 Repeatedly pressing the door button on the train before it’s illuminated, to assure your fellow commuters you have the situation in hand 🇬🇧 Having someone sit next to you on the train, meaning you’ll have to eat your crisps at home 🇬🇧 The huge sense of relief after your perfectly valid train ticket is accepted by the inspector 🇬🇧 The horror of someone you only half know saying: “Oh I’m getting that train too” 🇬🇧 “Sorry, is anyone sitting here?” – Translation: Unless this is a person who looks remarkably like a bag, I suggest you move it 🇬🇧 Worrying you’ve accidentally packed 3 kilos of cocaine and a dead goat as you stroll through “Nothing to declare” 🇬🇧 Being unable to stand and leave without first saying “right” 🇬🇧 Not hearing someone for the third time, so just laughing and hoping for the best 🇬🇧 Saying “anywhere here’s fine” when the taxi’s directly outside your front door. 🤣🤣

@GSGB01 I'd take another bite.

You're on your work break, eating lunch in public. A Muslim approaches and tells you to stop eating because it's Ramadan. What’s your next move?

@neilseanshowbiz @FoxNews @CTVNews @TheTodayShow @NBCNightlyNews See you there.

What a week chums…. And it’s all here in a brand-new episode of by Royal Appointment plus lots more breaking news midnight tonight see you there.#royal #news #fun #free

@LairdOfThManor UK phone number.

Anyone from the UK want to ring the hacker themselves and say hello… you have my blessing.

@neilseanshowbiz Then he can go in the stocks where we can throw rotten tomatoes at him.

Public flogging & banned from the UK for 50 years ..#winstonchurchill

@Beardandcamera Pharmacies do blood pressure checks. They also tell you the result. No need to book, just call in.

The NHS is FUCKED. My doctor wants me to make an appointment to discuss the need for a blood pressure test, but won’t do the test. She wants me to book another appointment for the test, but with a nurse who won’t discuss the results. So I think have to make another appointment with the doctor to discuss the results. This is on top of having to book another appointment, to discuss the results of a CT scan, because she won’t discuss more than one thing per appointment. I never want to hear about the poor and overworked doctors or nurses ever again.

@LairdOfTheManor Growing up, women like that were called margarine legs, (or marg for short). They spread easily! 😉

When Archie Mountbatten-Windsor grows up and gets his own phone… 📽️Thedannykelly(ig)

@neilseanshowbiz @Jessconradcom @Retromags @1960sProject I remember seeing Jess Conrad play in a charity football match. He was the goalie.

Happy Birthday @Jessconradcom #music #film #happybirthday #1960s

@AnthonyAinsdale The quickest way is to stop all the freebies & housing they are given. They pay £kkkk to come here. Let them support themselves without recourse to public funds.

As I keep saying, the only way to stop the boats is to build massive detention centres and detain all illegal immigrants. They then get a choice to stay in detention or we'll fly them home but no access to britain. They'll soon stop coming.

@neilseanshowbiz I'll look forward to hearing more details later on.

From 12 midnight tonight #royal #fun #news #breaking #china

@wuikle @yankeewally2 Happy new year.

This is the best yet to welcome the new year 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣x.com/Blkchn_Benzos/…