Peter Clavering

@GeorgeCochrane1 You paying for it with a Provident order?

Avenger, Hillman Avenger 2 door GT... RESERVED! (AND a tank of 4 star)

@CradleyBooper3 @travelingflying Ah, I see what you did there! It's a trick question, there is no down side.

@travelingflying And the downside to this is?

Somali man: ”If you are kicking out Somalis, you have to kick out every one of us. I’m speaking for all of my African brothers and sisters. If you kick Somalis out, you have to kick out all of us. All of us, we all leave together.”

@UKLabour Any free tickets going this summer, Bridge?

From today, the two child limit is lifted. That means 450,000 children will no longer grow up in poverty.

@UKLabour Keeping your voter base sweet, Bridge? When was last time you paid your gas/electric? When was last time you filled your car up? When was last time you paid your council tax? Out of touch and out of your mind.

@Classicbritcom Cowley.

Who would win? 👊

@LeeHurstComic Saw it last week, I think its a wig.

What is wrong with her barnet?

@GeorgeCochrane1 At least she has somewhere to park her bike.

"Wut?"

@HeavyMetal_999 Max Webster.

Favorite Canadian band? 🇨🇦 🤔

"Share a photo that you took. Just the image no discription."

@doris_from @TheBuryGripper Cheesey Chips are a late night, drunken delicacy in Sunderland.

@TheBuryGripper All looks decent except the finely grated cheese on the chips! Why?

@BurnsideWasTosh @robprogressive @PoliceInspForum Depends who is serving you!

@robprogressive @PoliceInspForum A lie, you dont get change from a tenner for a toastie and coffee in Pret.

I went into Pret-a-Manger in London to buy my breakfast & was shocked Handed over a tenner & the server took 30 seconds to check it for being fake. I said to him, ‘do you get a lot of fake money here’? And he said, ‘you would be shocked… Not only do we get a lot of fake money, but people start fights with us when we check money. So now we have to wear body cams’. Body cams in fucking Pret-a-Manger for buying toasties & coffee. This is the real state of London and the UK. This is not doom mongering, this is the reality & it’s getting worse

@benonwine Cringe.

What’s the FIRST thing that springs to MIND when you see this?

@UKLabour How many of your cabinet have had proper jobs?

This Labour Government is the most working-class government in the history of the UK.

@LeeHurstComic No but his boyfriend is.

Is the husband gay?

@SWFCNorthYorks @bphillipsonMP @educationgovuk

@bphillipsonMP @educationgovuk You’ll see what your PROGRESS is like on the 7th May HELMET HEAD u idiot.

This is what progress looks like. 🔗: gov.uk/government/sta…

@JHCPAL Why is Billingham not "ing jum" and don't get everyone going about Ulgham!

Bellingham is trending. It's been a while. Unfortunately it's the ing ham variety rather than the ing jum. I live in hope that one day.......

@UKLabour Absolute tosh!

Labour will always defend British interests abroad and stand up for you at home.

@bphillipsonMP @educationgovuk When was last time filled a car with petrol, you are deluded.

This government is focused on the cost of living. At @educationgovuk, we're saving families cash: £450 on free breakfast clubs £50 on school uniforms £500 on free school meals £300 on school holiday clubs Now it's confirmed we've halved childcare costs, saving parents £8,000.

@RachelReevesMP Deluded.

⚡£117 on average coming off energy bills 🚗 Fuel Duty freeze extended 🧒 450,000 children to be lifted out of poverty 💷 A payrise for over 2 million people 💊 Prescription charges frozen again This is a government for working people.

@JHCPAL @ronsterd89 I think its to do with buying alcohol from the chemist. When I was young I remember being sent round the road with an empty bottle and the man in the chemist would fill it from a large container. We always thought it was sherry.

@Claverinski @ronsterd89 I don't know chemist, though I do know mortal, paralytic and palatic!

A different word for intoxicated but can't say drunk!!