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David Keyes
2.3K posts
David Keyes
@DavidMKeyes
Former spokesman & advisor to Israel's Prime Minister, startup founder, pranker of dictators. TOTAL VICTORY. https://t.co/86WF4X0Hjz [email protected]
Beigetreten Ocak 2012
514 Folgt61.1K Follower
If Israel drones a Basij in the forest and no one sees it, was he actually eliminated? Serious question I'm not sure the answer to.
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Will Durant's books must be selling off the shelves after @netanyahu mentioned him during last night's press conference. Basically, this war is making Durant VERY rich. Did Durant push for the war to enrich himself? We have to ask: who benefits? INVESTIGATE DURANT NOW!!!
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🚨 If your mother-in-law is Basij, just send me her coordinates and I'll pass them along.
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I spent thousands of hours with @netanyahu as his former spokesman and advisor. I must warn everyone: it may look like he has 5 fingers on each hand in this photo from last night, but in real life his fingers vary depending on the day. I've seen 4 and I've seen 14. INVESTIGATE!!!
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This picture was NOT taken at a "press conference" last night as some claim to "prove" @netanyahu is alive. It was taken in April 1948 right after we broke the blockade of Jerusalem. Please stop spreading fake news!!!
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🚨 Breaking: Iran accidentally replaces new Basij head before Israel eliminates him
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PM Netanyahu: "I AM ALIVE."
Girl in crowd: "Only the true Messiah denies his divinity!"
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Eliminating the head of the Basij won't work because other Basij will just take his pl -- oh shit the new guy is gone too. But a new Basij leader will still repla -- fuck he's gone too. OK, maybe this will work.
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pretty sure my flotilla of Holy Quran ships could open the Strait of Hormuz in like two seconds
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why did Qatar hire me as a cameraman when I spent my entire life pranking dictators? no clue.
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🚨 BREAKING: Prime Minister Netanyahu declares at live press conference, "I am alive." Sorry, but only a dead person would feel the need to say that. Thou doth protest too much.
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The most creative way to open the Strait of Hormuz is _______________________
(write your ideas in the comments)
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🚨BREAKING: FDR issues rare statement, says like Trump he didn't get advanced warning of Pearl Harbor either
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So happy to see my prank taking off in Iran! x.com/DavidMKeyes/st…
Iconoclast@AlispeaksX
A prank has started in Tehran. The buzzing recorded sound of a flying drone gets the Basij ( the local Islamic militia) to run away.
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There's only one person who truly terrifies me if he ends up Supreme Leader of Iran. Grand Ayatollah Khrughman is an ideological fanatic that would condemn Iran to a dark future -- even worse than Jalili. Let's see what happens after Mojtaba is officially declared dead.
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