The Offbeat Millennial

BREAKING NEWS: “Starmer denies knowing he was Prime Minister” Sir Kier Starmer has revealed that no one told him until last Tuesday he won the 2024 election and had become PM. He told Beth Rigby “I was totally kept in the dark by my officials. I’m really angry about it.”

@FOREVERLEEDSMOT Missed chances are frustrating but if he was a better goalscorer he probably would be playing for a team much higher up. We got him at a good time as his stock wa low- grateful to have him. Well done to the recruitment and medical team!

Couldn’t give a carrot what Dom’s xG is. All I know is that we’re a much better side when he’s playing and his all round contribution is immense.

@marshyleeds Strongest available until we are safe, we're pushing for 14th too! Okafor the main concern and he was rested at 65mins ish. They'll be playing with confidence and we can take that on to Wembley with a good performance on Weds. Sub Okafor off and possibly others in 2nd half.

What team are you picking on Weds? No mistake, it’s a tricky game for us vs a side on their longest ever unbeaten PL run and, with Sunday in mind, there has to be a temptation to play a weakened team? Longstaff, Gnonto (good off bench yesterday) Bournauw, Nmecha surely come in

Don’t think I’ve ever felt as content with this football club as I do right now. Covid times aren’t real so they don’t count. Taking the piss and taking us to Wembley, what a fucking club

'Both Blair and Brown took the trouble to speak to me personally' @TrevorPTweets explains how he was questioned thoroughly when he was appointed to public office, but Keir Starmer reportedly never spoke to Mandelson ahead of his appointment. trib.al/tS8OCH3

@CharlieVantFPL No love for Brightom defence?

FH33: Current Draft 🔥 Most of this is pretty set now. The main decisions are like-for-like rather decisions rather than structure or teams or target. Gomez 👉🏼 Hinshelwood? Struijk 👉🏼 Bogle? Senesi 👉🏼 Hill? How is your GW33 team looking? 👇🏼

@EthanFromOnline I suppose of all the benches to sit on Spurs would be the world's softest!.. Nice pool too.. Surely they can't guarantee him minutes either. Guess a good new GK for us would want minutes assurances. If Spurs are offering more than a year it would be very tempting for him.

Gonna assume this means he's off. Awkward spot for Leeds, you can't guarantee him mins next year but I think it's a real shame. You finally found a good baseline GK, it'd be wise of the club to keep him as a worst case scenario. I hate betting the house on one signing. #LUFC

Absolutely incredible image of Daniel Farke from Leeds United's Uncut YouTube footage. #LUFC

That moment when you're trying to give a sheep some love but a jealous goose also wants in on the action. 🤣 @LifeWithPigs

@FPLMate Thanks for sharing, wishing you both the very best!

I have spent all of today in the hospital with my wife, Morgan. Today she had surgery that confirmed and removed severe endometriosis, a condition where uterus tissue grows outside the uterus, causing severe pelvic pain and infertility. Despite suspecting she has had this condition for almost as long as I’ve known her, and after years of medical gaslighting, she finally found a doctor who would book her in for laparoscopic surgery needed at the end of last year, and completed today. It turns out this is one of the most misdiagnosed conditions women can have (despite it being fairly common) and unless you fight for that surgery, you will likely never be taken seriously. If you or anyone you know feels they relate to endometriosis symptoms, I really encourage you to push for an official diagnosis - particularly as this condition can worsen over time. Morgan spent years in pain, and we lost £10,000’s in IVF costs for “unexplained infertility” when the answer was explainable all along. But mostly I just wanted to post this because I’m so bloody proud of her fight, and being so brave spending the entire afternoon in the operating theatre today. Well done Morgan, maximum bonus points for you! 👏🏼

This is absolutely class from Brentford, living up to the community club reputation they have 👏

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧 Before 1830, nobody had a lawn. The rich had their grass cut by scythemen. Ordinary people had no garden worth speaking of. Edwin Budding was an engineer in Stroud, Gloucestershire. Working in a textile mill, he noticed a machine using a cutting cylinder to trim the surface of cloth. He looked at it. And thought about grass. He built a machine with a cutting cylinder mounted on a wheeled frame. Then pushed it across his garden at midnight. At midnight. So the neighbours wouldn't see. It worked. He patented it in August 1830. Within twenty years the Victorian suburb was born. The striped lawn. The neat garden. The Sunday morning ritual. Every suburban garden in America. Every cricket ground. Every football pitch. Every golf course on earth. Traces back to one man. In Stroud. With a cloth machine. At midnight. Right now, somewhere in the world, someone is cutting their grass. And they have no idea who Edwin Budding was. Help us share more of our history: proudofus.co.uk/support Be Part Of Us. Be Proud Of Us. 🇬🇧

@FPL_TomHadley Congrats Tom!

A bit of life news from me during the break… I got engaged to my favourite person! ☺️

Girlfriend not happy 😂😂😂#Leeds #lufc

🫶 Forever grateful

@_LamNam_ I don't think we were pathetic as we held a good side at bay and they were happy with a draw. Being more proactive overall may have brought more wins + Farke is being risk averse as thinks a point a game from current position will be enough. That's risky in itself but we'll see.

That was absolutely pathetic, too scared to take any risks, against a team that was depleted and were there for the taking. Even players that usually try to get it forward and take risks, like Tanaka, were just passing sideways and back. Feels like Farke has lost any idea of how he wants us to play. We aren’t getting the ball wide, we aren’t providing service to DCL, our set pieces (especially long throws) yield nothing, we have zero creativity through the middle. We can’t keep playing like this and expect to draw our way to safety. Wanting 2 wins from our remaining 7, when we have 3 wins in 15, is feeling unrealistic now. #lufc

There is no way I would have remained as calm and articulate as @_ConnieShaw in the face of such obtuse and ignorant questioning by someone intent on never letting her finish a sentence. Excellent work.

Fish farms are absolutely disgusting. Dragging mile-long nets along the ocean floor is also terrible. The solution? Just don't eat #fish. 🤔💡 #RethinkFish

@Pras_fpl Could plan to play Wilson instead if you prefer the patient approach for now

Plan change. Ekitike -> Bowen rage transfer will happen. Can’t look at the guys face for 3 weeks.

Spice Girls completely redubbed by a dude, is one of the most hilarious things we've ever seen!