Ben Eltham

@FakeJarmer Come on Vikings

Eliteserien back today 🎉

@thedavidcurrie Cheltenham looks a lot like ascot!!!! Don’t post shit!!!!

Disgraceful behaviour from the horse racing fans at Cheltenham. I fully expect statements, condemnations, bans, alcohol prohibition, police announcements, political intervention and enquiries in due course.

@iam_commando He’s 20 fucking years old, that’s what he is, none of the above mentioned were doing what he’s capable of at that age….. Blows my mind when he gets compared to players from there prime, he’s got years yet, he’s progressing nicely!

KOBBIE MAINOO: He is not a Regista (controls the tempo from deep) e.g Andre Pirlo and Jorginho. He is not a Deep-lying play maker (start attack from deep) e.g Xabi Alonso and Sergio Busquets. He is not a Box to Box (covers both defensive and attacking areas) e.g Steven Gerrard and Yaya Toure. He is not a Defensive Midfielder (destroyer/Ball winner who protects the defence and break up attacks) e.g Ngolo Kante and Casemiro. He’s not an Advanced play maker (creative midfielder) e.g Bruno Fernandes and Kevin De Bruyne. He’s not a Mezzala (an attacking central midfielder who drifts into half spaces to support attack) e.g Paul Pogba and Claudio Marchisio. He’s not a Carrilero (a midfielder who covers wide spaces and supports both full backs and midfield) e.g Arturo Vidal. He’s not a Trequartista (Operates between midfield and attack with freedom) e.g Francesco Totti. What exactly is his profile and identity?

@mufcytp @premierleague That and the Dalot sending off at anfield!!! The man don’t like us

OFFICIAL: Michael Oliver has been appointed as the referee for Manchester United vs Tottenham Hotspur on Saturday. [@premierleague] He is the same referee who denied United a blatant penalty for Romero’s handball in 2023. You remember that incident, don't you? 😱

@markgoldbridge Right…. You understand how this works? The ref blows his whistle before the ball goes in the net, meaning VAR can’t get involved…. The ref is at fault for blowing his whistle 2 seconds early…. I bet you’ve blown your load 2 seconds early before

Leaves a horrible feeling this. I just don't understand why VAR hasn't told the ref it's not a foul and should be a goal for Villa. Feels dirty being the team benefiting from this. This ref should be demoted to pub league football

@Utddoja No he wouldn’t as both players you mentioned are team players, the exact sort of players he is after

Jokes aside though Amorim is definitely a narcissist and can’t handle any big egos. Hilarious how United fans try to liken him to SAF. Amorim would crumble if he had to deal with Roy Keane or even Beckham

@RedlingMUFC I remember getting home from being out when I was 14/15 and going to my dads study to play champ manager and heard on the radio that the KING had retired, I thought that was Utd done……little did I know what was to happen

No United departure was as painful as Beckham’s. That presser where he dismissed a question about United with “I am a Real Madrid player now” was a punch in the gut. Also waking up in the morning for school and finding out Eric had retired. After those, you can lose anyone.

@BPete1970 @mctominay10 @ManUtd We will probably buy him back in the summer for £80 million

Seeing @mctominay10 playing for Napoli & scoring again & then looking at our attacking options ffs So pleased for Scott & angry at @ManUtd

@Bear_Size @Joey7Barton @FIFAcom The shower afterwards would be interesting

@Joey7Barton Just had a brainwave. Mixed sex football. Male keepers! 5 women and 5 men in a team. That would be quite interesting when you think about it. @FIFAcom

Give them equal pay. Pure quality. 🐕💨

@FPLfrasier A player is only worth something that someone else is willing to pay, pretty sure there wasn’t much of a cue for AWB and scotty, fair play to them both as obviously good professionals and lads, it seems the less professional players are the harder ones to shift????

We sold West Ham’s POTS for 15m 🤷 We sold Napoli’s POTS and potential Serie A MVP for 30m 🤷🤷 United need to start appreciating our own players and get the right fee when we sell them.

@bhavss14 You were also one game away from being right amongst it, if Newcastle took there chances in the 1st half it would’ve been different outcome and possible season

Despite all the injuries, we’ve stayed above the scraps for the top 5. Definitely fallen short, but the floor has been raised. Now it’s time to invest correctly in the summer. Raise the ceiling.

@PatrickTimmons1 Don’t forget you won the “we didn’t get beat against a top 6 team this season” cup!!! Newcastle and either Utd or spurs will have achieved more than you this season

2nd place and a Champions League semi-final. Undeniably a disappointing season, but this was our floor, not our ceiling. Injuries. Contentious decisions from referees. Poor recruitment. Dust ourselves off, have a big summer and we go again next season. Silverware is coming.

@piersmorgan @_DeclanRice Especially as the current one doesn’t play half of the games

I’m going to say it… @_DeclanRice should be Arsenal club captain next season. He is the real leader of this team now, and our best player.

@alexvideo_ He’s like guess what???? We came 2nd again…. You women love that don’t you????

Things we like to see ❤

@racingblogger Does stevie wonder dress you?

On the way to Birmingham 😂😂😂 Can anyone recommend anywhere nice to stay please?

@AliceTalksFooty So not having any European football has benefited Newcastle massively, it meant that they could have a go at domestic cups and also reduced the amount of injuries… it’s not rocket science really as Newcastle have as good a starting 11 as anyone in the league.

If Newcastle beat Arsenal tomorrow, they’ll go 2nd in the table. Eddie Howe hasn’t had a single first-team signing across the last three windows. He’s been without his best CB (Botman) for most of the season and lost his best LB (Lewis Hall) for the crucial final months. He’s had to run Isak into the ground due to Wilson’s injury issues, and lost both Minteh and Anderson in the summer — players who 100% would’ve helped this squad. Despite all that, he’s gotten the very best out of players like Murphy, Schär, and Joelinton — guys who were already at the club under Steve Bruce. He’s delivered Newcastle’s first domestic trophy in 70 years… and could still finish above Arsenal and Man City, two pre-season title favourites.

@Malachians If he’s shown he can do it before (which he did) then he can definitely do it again…. I feel for him atm, he epitomises our forward transfers for the last 10 years. He is one who could have benefited from a zlatan, falcao, cr etc but he has nothing to watch..

I have to believe that Hojlund is a much better player than the one we are seeing now, he showed that at times last season. He looks like a lad who is petrified of the ball, whose confidence is completely destroyed and a bundle of nerves. Personally, I think it would be better to loan him out next season than try to sell him after the season he’s just had. I know there are a lot of people who hold strong views towards him and I’m not saying you’re wrong, I just feel a loan would be better than a sale at this point.

@markgoldbridge Perfectly sums the referees performance up…. Books Amad for diving 5 mins after RE-watching the Chelsea lad do the same thing without booking him?

Gusto goes in two footed off the ground and it's Heaven who gets the card...

@NUFC18923939 @BPete1970 @NUFCgallowgate Pete follows United, not City

Hundreds of Villa and Palace Wembley tickets for resale at £100, and apparently they can’t give away Club Wembley tickets… Demand when #NUFC for the last two Wembley games meant the cheapest resale tickets were £2000 on the same site…

@piersmorgan Or you could base it on whether the club has won a European cup

It’s time Manchester United was officially downgraded from being categorised as a ‘Big Club.’ To be that, other teams have to fear you, and nobody’s feared United for many years now.