James Coates 👍🏻

@fesshole FFS dad

My neighbour had workmen over, I wasn't working so they asked me to let them in & pay at the end. I got chatting to the workmen & he said he'd do the job for free if i sucked his dick. So not only did I get to suck off a handsome man, I got to keep my neighbours money for the job

@EmilySm43 Knopf

Name one

@anon_opin Try that in Skegness, straight into the sand

All seaside piers should have supervised diving boards, so people can enjoy a plunge into the sea in the warmer months.

@anon_opin To be that guy, they do actually run more reliably than the average car journey. Just when it goes tits, there are more people affected

For the amount of fucking money that train journeys cost in the UK, I really don't think it's too much to ask/expect for them to run on time. Why have we, as a nation, just collectively accepted the contrary?

@anon_opin Football is shite tbf

No one actually likes football. Everyone just pretends to in order to "fit in", not realising that everyone else is doing the same.

@fesshole Oops

First date in a while. Decided to trim my pubes incase I got lucky. Nicked myself quite badly. Turns out I was right to anticipate sex, but she soon changed her mind when she saw my wound.

@SkyCricket Think this kid will be decent

James Anderson takes his 56th five-wicket haul in a first-class innings 🫡

@anon_opin Please try. We are invincible

People who can drink plain black coffee with no sugar should be put on trial for witchcraft.

@fesshole Are you American?

I haven't done any washing up since November last year. I've just been using paper plates and disposable cutlery.

@anon_opin What sites are these? For a friend

Another reason for the fall of the pub is the rise of online dating sites, specifically hook-up ones. Why go to the pub to have a small chance of meeting someone when you can swipe?

@fesshole Let him have 5 minutes thru the door before you start bombarding him, it'll be much better received

My husband doesn't bother to listen to anything I say so I've stopped telling him anything about myself. It's just delivery of information now. He hasn't noticed. I'm gutted but I'll never leave because of the children.

@fesshole Maybe try sitting?

As long as I've taken the train, I must always take the third car from the front, and stand directly above a traction motor to hear the hum properly. Standing elsewhere is just wrong.

@anon_opin They should definitely have "dry" carriages for those that don't want it

Alcohol should be banned on trains. Currently stuck in a carriage that smells like a brewery with loud drunk people. It's possible that is swaying my opinion.

@anon_opin Not helpful, but also not incorrect

To all the 'just eat less and exercise more' people out there - What is your unhealthy habit? Smoking? Porn? Social media? If someone told you to 'just stop doing it" how helpful would you find that advice?

@anon_opin Yeah, nah. Can't see many employers being happy with my suddenly moving to a town 4 hours away

Your commute should be classed as part of your working day, and paid for accordingly.

@MbarkCherguia The number of people that don't know the difference between a sweed and a turnip is staggering

I’m currently having a blazing argument, please help me settle this once and for all. What is this???

@anon_opin I would agree that within a male dominated industry, the worst performers are usually male tho

In any male-dominated workplace or industry, the women who do work there will on average be more competent than the men. This is obvious if you understand statistical probability and gender bias.

@anon_opin Where is that laugh reaction when you need it?

@fesshole 6 years I guess for them to chase the debt

Bought a car this week using inheritance. They charged £1,700 to my card instead of £17,000. I know it's wrong not to report it but I genuinely dont have huge bundles of cash & that amount is life changing. So far kept quiet. How long before I can actually spend the cash?

@S26PHY Customer driver.... As opposed to?