Fesshole🧻

TICKETS FOR FESSHOLE SHOWS: sites.google.com/view/fesshole Leeds 4 Mar '26 Luton 12 Mar '26 Glasgow 16 Mar '26 Malmö, Sweden 23 Apr '26 Göteborg, Sweden 24 Apr '26 Stockholm, Sweden 25 Apr '26 Manchester 6 May '26 Hull 18 Jun '26 Cambridge 20 Jun '26 ALSO: Anon Opin Live Glasgow 17 Mar '26

Someone sent me a website where I could make a willy spin in a circle by moving my mouse, I got into it right away. After the counter hit 1000, I messaged them how far I got, and they said it was a shock site not a game. It was just a GIF, no mouse needed.

When I was younger I played on Sims, and got off on watching them have sex, a lot. Which in turn meant I'd end up with a lot of babies. Decided to keep two and raise them in a normal happy family setting and then put the rest in a secret room where I left them to die.

I pretend I'm buying old WWF/WWE figures for my 6-year-old son. They're not for him. I play with them, do the commentary and create tournaments when I have a free house. Makes me feel 11 again.

I kept ignoring my girlfriend when I was reading and told her I couldn't hear her, she got fed up with me and made me an appointment. Now I have an hearing aid

While teaching in a college I was accused of having a relationship with a 17yr old student. The principal and HR wanted me sacked. I WAS in a relationship with a student, who was 43yrs old. The look of disappointment on their faces was priceless.

Went to a bisexual swingers party and met a completely naked guy with very large equipment. We fooled around a bit but later I had to leave before he did. Unsure of the correct etiquette, I shook his hand to say goodbye, but then reflexively also shook his semi-erect member.

My partner's picture was part of the corporate email footer for a number of years. When they left me, I made an anonymous complaint to HR that there were grumblings about a lack of diversity in that area, picture updated to remove them inside a week.

My neighbour asked me to mow his lawn when he was ill and I was 12. I wondered why his mower looked and worked different to ours but didn't mind. I'd almost done a full stripe down the lawn when he yelled at me to stop. It was a rotavator, not a mower.

When my car wipers are at end of life, i just find another car of the same model/year and swap the wiper blades around. Haven't bought a single set of wiper blades yet.

The sales guy at my work, a man in his 50s, calls milk "moo juice". I've just recommended him for redundancy based solely on this fact.

When the wife isn't home, I like drifting my RC cars around the dining room table. Now she's asking about the scuff marks on the hardwood floor and I don't know what to do. Help.

Been getting the same train for the past year. The same person sits opposite me every day. This morning we struck a conversation. Needless to say I won't be getting that train again. Worried they're thinking the same and we both end up getting the same train again.

Burdened by a confession? Use this link to share it with Fesshole: b3ta.com/addfess

Aged about ten, I threw a friend's new toy boomerang and it landed on a roof and broke in two. The boomerang never came back, but the guilt periodically does.

When my three year old son is sat on the loo doing a poo, he pulls a face that looks just like Michael Gove and it haunts me.

Come to Fesshole Live in 2026! Tickets on sale for Manchester, Hull, Glasgow, Luton & Cambridge. Sweden Tour visits Malmö, Göteborg and Stockholm, and Anon Opin hits Glasgow. Best of Fesshole, audience confessions, secret history & more: sites.google.com/view/fesshole

One Christmas me and my sister got matching ghetto blasters, mine broke, I sneakily swapped it for hers, parents took it back but was out of stock, the shop replaced it with a better one, gutted

My then gf's pet rat died; she didn't have a garden so asked to bury it in mine. I told her where was a good spot, left a spade out, and she did it while I was at work. Unfortunately it wasn't very deep so my cat dug it up and ate it. We're now married and she must never know.

My husband doesn't bother to listen to anything I say so I've stopped telling him anything about myself. It's just delivery of information now. He hasn't noticed. I'm gutted but I'll never leave because of the children.

We have a set of mugs at home that are all the same style, but different colours. One colour I personally dislike over all the others. If im pissed off with my wife I make her coffee using the worst coloured mug. That will show her.