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Junior PM: I'm struggling with my engineering manager. He keeps pushing back on everything I propose.
Senior PM: What's your relationship like with him?
Junior PM: Honestly? Pretty tense. He thinks I don't understand technical constraints.
Senior PM: Do you?
Junior PM: I mean... I try to, but I'm not an engineer.
Senior PM: That's not what I asked.
Junior PM: I don't know. Maybe not deeply enough.
Senior PM: Here's what most PMs miss about difficult stakeholders.
Junior PM: Tell me.
Senior PM: Their pushback isn't personal. It's information.
Junior PM: What kind of information?
Senior PM: About where your plans will fail in reality.
Junior PM: So he's... helping me?
Senior PM: His resistance is a technical reality check. What if you treated it that way?
Junior PM: I'd ask more questions instead of defending my ideas.
Senior PM: Like what?
Junior PM: What technical risks am I not seeing? What would make this easier to build?
Senior PM: And then?
Junior PM: He might actually help me make better plans.
Senior PM: But here's the deeper issue.
Junior PM: What do you mean?
Senior PM: You said he thinks you don't understand technical constraints.
Junior PM: Right.
Senior PM: Do you show empathy for his role?
Junior PM: I... don't know what you mean.
Senior PM: When you walk into meetings, are you thinking about what would make his job easier?
Junior PM: Usually I'm thinking about what I need from him.
Senior PM: There it is.
Junior PM: So I should focus on his success, not mine?
Senior PM: Your success depends on his success. Show him you understand that.
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