The Momster Club

Not only is doing laundry invigorating, but my favorite thing in the whole world is turning ALL the clothes right side out, said no mom ever.

“Did you want me to save this bottle for bottle-flipping?” is something I say now.

@dadmann_walking @MumOfTw0 Took us 2 years to agree

My wife and I shopped for a couch today and got divorced by lunch time.

I woke with an urgent burning question: Is 5 cent candy still 5 cent candy?

The older I get, the more Canadian I sound.

Adulting is getting excited about a new phone case.

@PicturesFoIder Why 😂

@IHideFromMyKids It’s the best transition

It’s nearly that time of year where I put away my summer sweatpants and pull out my fall sweatpants

5: Mom do wishes come true? Sometimes they do! 5: Oh Noooooooooooooo!! Why? What did you wish? 5: Because I wished I was a tree!

Looking at a picture of Cristiano Ronaldo 5: (with the most adorable lisp) He haths a theven-pack

Saturday gif game, it’s the end of the school year and the kids are gonna be home. How are you feeling?

@twinstantfamily 😱

@MomsterClub People smash their cysts with big heavy books and please don’t watch anyone do it. 😨

I’ve developed some sort of cyst on my wrist. I was talking to my husband about it and he said, “we don’t have a big enough bible.” I am so sorry I asked follow up questions. I’m even more sorry for googling it.

Saw this on fb and it made me laugh because WHERE IS THE LIE? 😆 (credit unknown)

Husbands everywhere: “I’m going to tighten this jar so tightly that only I can open it”

**Me feeling good about drinking Matcha** 4: That looks like zombie puke

I’m at the age where I save used aluminum foil and wash ziplock bags.

My morning alarm is now either Hulk Hogan or The Rock’s theme song