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one thing about adulthood i was not prepared for was how many cardboard boxes i'd have to breakdown and throw away all the time.
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Dadman Walking
88.1K posts
Dadman Walking
@dadmann_walking
introvert. dad of 3 boys. not interested. bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83 My link https://t.co/X1R5q5BtIr seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents
Katılım Eylül 2014
1.2K Takip Edilen59K Takipçiler
I waxed my nose hairs tonight. Lots of screaming. I can smell within a 200 mile radius now.
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making dinner: 1 hour
setting the table: 10 mins
Kids eating it: 4.6 minutes
me: fuck.
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Inventor of work: What if every weekday was terrible?
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I worked out then ended up here before I have to go make kids more FOOD TO EAT.
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well I absolutely hate pre vacation me because he left a lot of shit for me to do today. I'm tired boss.
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Going to Walmart: sweatpants.
Going to Target: fancy sweatpants.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to defeat death. This is bullshit.
RIP sir
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I was able to sing every word of my high school fight song out of the blue today, but I couldn't remember if I took my vitamins after my reminder went off an hour ago.
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Saw a man walking his dog yesterday. He obviously hadn’t managed to get a dog that looked like him, so he’d bought shoes to match instead.
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I used to joke about being old.
Now I get injured in my sleep and sitting at my desk.
Where has my youth gone?
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If there’s one thing working from home has taught me, it’s that I cannot be trusted alone with six boxes of Girl Scout cookies.
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1986 Headline: Flying cars expected to be common within 40 years.
2026 Headline: Woman who identifies as a dog is attacked by an actual dog.
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