Forward March

Lady was pissy when I insisted on walking with her to the parking lot, but it was raining and she had an umbrella.

@tua_preemie 🤣🤣

@RunOldMan anything with cheese in it and I'm game

Fat people are harder to kidnap.  But if you have snacks, I'll come willingly.

Let's find little ways to validate each other. Mix it up!

Take the phones away from your kids and make them jump rope and play hopscotch

When my shoes feel weird, I fall down.

Asking Grok to do your taxes is the gateway to federal prison.

Normalize not forcing connections with people. lf someone can't see the value in having you at their side, it isn't your job to convince them.

My friends & I were those who did non stop Chuck Norris jokes years ago. Chuck Norris is so bad ass that he’ll be back after three days. It only takes one to take over the afterworld, then he partied the other two.

Why are Monday's so far from Friday's, and Friday's so close to Monday's?....kinda fucked up

Better company = better you.

I was attacked by a herd of cows yesterday but it's okay... I was only grazed.

Behaviour is prettier than looks. Respect is sexier abs. Loyalty is hotter than touch.

Dear Mr. Landscaping Guy, I don’t care about your wife being a financial influencer. I care about the landscaping. You can also stop name dropping… it’s not doing what you think it’s doing. Sincerely, ChiChi Greenblatt

Broke in cash, billionaire in love.

I’m here.

Instead of going to Starbucks today, I'm making my own, yelling out the wrong name in my kitchen and setting a 5 dollar bill on fire.

It’s not right that people living in the south are experiencing spring and up here in Ontario I have to get the dog sled out again

Good morning, happy Friday!☕️💙🌉

Chuck Norris was like…I’m gonna go kick ass in the afterlife, because fuck this.

I got myself alot of M&M's...... memories and mistakes

I could be skinnier, yes. But could you be unstupidier. No.