Man Looking for a Wife

I heard that X is the "everything app", so I've created a profile on here to find my future wife and see if that's true!

When she farts in public but you tell people it was you.

@sagmagee Thought about it already actually but I can't change my @ rn. I will get around to it eventually though

@WhyGuy069 What if instead of whyguy you were wifeguy so i could call you mr. Looking for a wife guy

Hey @sagmagee, have you ever considered changing your name to Big Balls Mcgee?

hear me out...

Guys talk about wanting a big weener, but what they don't realize are all the downsides that come with it. For example, having to get custom condoms made because the one's in the store never fit right and tear. Very pricey! And that's the least of the problems

@sagmagee Fair enough. All good points

@WhyGuy069 No I haven't, That'd mess up the symmetry of the multiple nicknames I have, chief among them being Balls "the raped" Mcgee. Also having a two letter first name seems odd

Finally, someone with a good sense of humor!

@sagmagee This is the way.

I think I need to move to a small town and become the bookkeeper for all the small businesses, and giving discounts for old ladies running their flower shops and stuff

@RealestMemes_ 8? Bro this is me now!

🍎🧃

@rrenee03 depends on the situation

extrovert, introvert, or pervert?

End of summer strength goal: one arm overhead press a 125 lbs dumbbell Currently able to press the 100 lbs dumbbell. I know I can achieve the 125 by the end of the summer!

I yearn for a wife that I can do this to

use this tweet as an excuse to post anything without context 💀

fun fact: you’re somebody’s crush.

This is not a joke by the way. I like my women on the heavier side and like some hair too.

this is almost as hot as a chubby woman

The only things that are certain in this world are Love and Taxes