Amanda Hammonds

@bigaubs_ Wow, urine-vested in this immensely.

My new goal is to pee in every bathroom on campus at least once before graduation. I have already peed several places so I’m hoping this can be accomplished. I will keep you posted.

I prefer to run late.

@katiedane07 Duh. Classic dad move

remember that time my dad got married and didn’t tell me for 3 months

This is not a joke- it’s a biography:

@maryykilleen @maryykilleen NOOOO!!! As soon as I get back in town we are having scenario trainings and how to respond. Get ready.

@bigaubs_ What???! At least say spoiler alert- isn’t this a new show?

CHUCK BASS YOU BASTARD WHY DID IT TAKE YOU SO LONG TO TELL BLAIR YOU LOVE HER

@justjamilynne You’re still an orientation leader. #dvicstairsforthewin

The new Winnie The Pooh looks like a divorced dad that just finished a short stint in the county correctional facility and is now trying to get back in Piglets life. Good luck Pooh Bear @… instagram.com/p/BmB8g_zAxOB/…

A[wo]men 🙏🏻 twitter.com/waddell_hunter…

I get buyer’s remorse spending $5 at chick fil a bc $5 is basically $10 which is pretty much $20 which is basically $100

@katiedane07 having*

The world can finally know that Wendy is pregnant #wehopeitsagirl

@goldenglobes where you at?! I don’t see you on the @nbc app. #help #goldenglobes

Anyone else still not finished Christmas shopping?

@bigaubs_ @Eminem pay attention to us

If you play Lose Yourself by Eminem at exactly 11:58:45 pm on New Years Eve, the line “the clock’s run out, times up, over, blaow” will end at the same time as 2017 and I think that’s beautiful

@JohnnySEtern Thank you Johnny Boy!!! Come visit me soon - we need a Christmas lunch please!

It honestly was the best I’ve ever heard it! You did a phenomenal job, Richard. twitter.com/rags_to_richar…

@katiedane07 stop talking- we are in a meeting

When the tweets are as broken as the ice cream machine. twitter.com/McDonaldsCorp/…