Counter Formation

The challenge is not that people are being formed by the world and failing. The "world" is actually very succesful. Sunday gatherings were never designed to counter that alone. That's why intentional daily formation matters.

@CoachDanGo The most disciplined people in the room aren’t always the most fulfilled. Discipline applied to the wrong foundation just gets you to the wrong destination faster.

If you can get in shape you can make a lot of money. The disciplines are almost the same.

Sisyphus was condemned to push the boulder forever. The difference you’re describing is that you chose the boulder. But the exhaustion feels the same either way, because a life built entirely around optimizing yourself has no finish line. As soon as you hit one metric you move on to the next. The only rest that actually holds isn’t found in doing less. It’s found in building your life around a foundation that breathes life and doesn’t ask for your performance…just your rest and surrender.

idk if I can keep this up you guys. I just got one more to do: a five min warm eye compress before bed. I do endless things every day. From the moment I wake up to bedtime, and even when I'm sleeping, I'm always doing something and measuring it. It never ends. Help.

High-trust societies don’t start with systems or policies, but with individuals who decide their word means something. The decline of trust at the societal level is just the decline of character at the individual level – a symptom of an overall value structure collapsing. You can’t rebuild it top down. It starts with the person in the mirror deciding that their heart needs to change, and an understanding that there is only one path to a transformed life… When that Movement takes hold…that’s what rebuilds a society.

I would like to live in a high-trust society. The decline of trust is something worth caring about, and reversing it is something worth doing. We should not have to live constantly wondering if we're being lied to or scammed. Trust should be possible again.

The burden of stuff is rarely about the stuff. What we accumulate and can’t let go of might tell us something about what we’re trusting it to give…security, identity, comfort, sense of control Getting rid of things and simplifying your life is a spiritual practice as much as a lifestyle change. Its not about what we own, but whether we let things have ownership over us?

I hate having stuff. Want to sell almost everything I own and just not deal with any stuff ever again.

The wind at your back is a gift. But the people who make the most of it aren’t the ones who got lucky…they’re the ones who were already moving in the right direction before it showed up. Momentum finds the prepared. And preparation is just another word for the quiet, unglamorous work you did when there was no wind at all.

I remember this vaguely, but I read something someone shared last year that if you’re ever lucky to be blessed with motion, that wind at your back, run. Run fast and far, for the wind is fickle and legs do tire. A moving man will meet his luck, as long as he never stops.

Rapha “Release your grip” is one of the most honest definitions of surrender I’ve heard. The hard part is that knowing control was always an illusion and actually releasing it are two completely different things. Most of us can acknowledge it intellectually and still spend years white-knuckling things we were never meant to hold onto. Anxiety requires someone that we can trust enough to actually hand it to. That’s what makes “Be still” actually possible, because when he takes it we can feel the weight lift off.

Therapist @TTuck10 came on Relatable to talk about anxiety. I asked him, "If you could define anxiety, how would you define it?" Tucker: "Fear of the future. Fear of the unknown. The verse, 'Be still and know that I am God' used to make me so angry. I'm like, God, what do you mean be still? Like, I got a real problem here. I'm in a storm. Why do you want me to just be still? And what I realized is that the word, and I believe it's "Rapha" in the Hebrew, it doesn’t mean just ‘don’t move.’ It means ‘release your grip.’ The idea that I thought that I had control, that was a lie anyway. If I can start to realize like, yes, the circumstances might happen that are negative or I might be in the middle of a battle right now, but if I can loosen my grip and stop white knuckling it, then I can realize that like oh—God is God, not me, and He’s going to take care of me no matter what happens. That really is the solution to anxiety. It’s not changing your circumstances or slapping meds on it.”

The wants vs. needs distinction is worth sitting with. The only thing I’d add is that even our wants need to be surrendered to Him…not just self-produced. Because sometimes what we want most is the very thing He’s asking us to release in order to further shape us in his character. Trust Him with your needs. Surrender your wants over and Let Him guide you through the journey.

Please separate your wants from your needs and understand the importance of both. Wants are on u to produce and needs are on GOD! He's Got that. He shall supply all your needs! You are responsible for the things u want. #CoachPrime

This morning I said something I immediately wished I could take back. It was barely out of my mouth before I knew exactly what it was and where it came from. The enemy is patient. He knows our weak places better than we do sometimes. And he's not above using our own mouth against the people we love most. This is no coincidence, he is weighting to take advantage and pounce on you at just the right moment. Ephesians 6:12 doesn't say we wrestle against flesh and blood for no reason. The battle is real, it's personal, and it shows up in the smallest moments... a word, a tone, and a perfectly timed wound delivered through someone who loves you. Two things I was reminded of this morning: The wounds we haven't fully surrendered are the ones the enemy knows how to find. And the answer isn't shame...it's bringing it into the light immediately, owning it, and working through it together rather than letting it fester. Transparency and humility in the moment is a power force to combat spiritual warfare. You rob the enemy of his foothold the second you refuse to let it sit in the dark. "Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil." -- Ephesians 4:27

@masonkuhr Stillness isn’t passive. It’s one of the most demanding spiritual practices there is because what is exposed in the silence is exactly what we’ve been too busy to face. Most of us avoid the silence because we’re afraid of what we’ll hear…both from God and from ourselves.

Meditation isn't New Age avoidance, it's biblical communion. "Be still and know that I am God" wasn't a suggestion. You can't hear His voice when you're drowning it out with constant noise. When uncomfortable emotions arise in stillness, that's the Holy Spirit surfacing what needs to be felt and released. Don't run from it, witness it with acceptance. For more concepts like this one, order my book, "See the Unseen": amazon.com/See-Unseen-Ste… Like this tweet and I'll DM you the link to buy it (MUST be following)

The hard part is that self-forgiveness is a bit misunderstood. Most of us are trying to release ourselves with an authority we don’t actually have. The shame stays because we can’t actually forgive ourselves…the action we have to take is to accept the grace that God freely offers. This is where true freedom comes from…

Major cheat code for life: Stop dragging yesterday into today. The argument. The mistake. The missed chance. It’s already gone. Stop reliving it. Learn fast. Forgive yourself faster. Move forward. Life happens in the direction you face.

The intensity part is learnable. The unbothered part is harder and it’s not really a trait you can acquire. The people who are genuinely at peace when things fall apart aren’t finding peace by detachment or distancing themselves from the situation. It’s that they have anchored their heart, mind, and strength to a firm foundation that only God can provide.

The greatest trait you can acquire is to work with tremendous intensity on things that matter to you, and more importantly, be strangely unbothered when those things don't work out.

What’s easy to miss in that story is that Goliath didn’t form David. His time as a Shepherd in the fields did. Battling the lion and the bear, and the years of faithfulness nobody saw. By the time the giant showed up, David already knew who he was and who he served. The battle was almost a formality. The Goliath in your life does not define you. It reveals your formation and the transformation that God is doing in your life.

God will put a Goliath in your life to awaken the David within you.

That feeling of sensing you were made for something more but not knowing how to get there…this doesn’t just point to ambition.. It eventually leads you to ask who put that sense of destiny in you in the first place. And that answer changes everything about where you look for it.

This sentence by Dostoyevsky hits so hard. “You sensed that you should be following a different path, a more ambitious one, you felt that you were destined for other things but you had no idea how to achieve them and in your misery you began to hate everything around you.”

There’s something real here. That kind of unshakeable peace is exactly what Paul describes in Philippians 4…and it’s even quoted it directly. But the source matters. Detachment from outcomes and surrender to the One who holds them feel similar from the outside. The difference shows up when something you love is on the line and the outcome goes the wrong way. One leaves you floating. The other leaves you anchored.

The plot twist of all plot twists is that your life gets exponentially better as soon as you stop giving a fuck. And not in the cold, heartless, not giving a fuck way. But in the way that you remain so unattached to the outcome that nothing can shake you. You are going to be good no matter what happens. It’s this sort of peace that surpasses understanding that can only be found via unshakable faith. This applies to every aspect of your life. Love career relationships money health. You give it your best shot. You try your damn hardest. You leave everything on the table. But you stay unattached. Whatever happens, happens. You flow through life and life flows through you.

What proceeds from your mouth is almost always a reflection of what’s been formed on the inside. You can’t consistently speak words that build others up if what’s underneath is anxious, bitter, or if you are running on empty. The formation of the interior life and the words that come out of it are more connected than most people realize.

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for building up what is needed, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. - Paul, Ephesians 4:29-30

For me it started with being honest enough to admit something was still there that I hadn’t processed and given over to him…acknowledging something was off…my responses and behavior patterns that kept showing up, reactions that felt bigger than the moment, places I kept getting stuck. Then bringing it into prayer and and reflecting on his word with that specific thing in mind…not general quiet time, but actually sitting with it and asking Him to show you what’s underneath it. Sometimes that may mean having an honest conversation with someone you trust. Healing rarely happens in isolation and usually requires work through it in community. The hardest part is just being willing to look at it, reflecting on it, and being intentional in working through the mess of our emotions. It affects our spiritual growth so much more than we realize.

@counterformed @edgaralandough how do you process it?

so much of adult life is just grieving in secret. grieving exes you don’t talk about anymore, grieving dead friendships, grieving parents who are starting to look older every day. it’s grieving the person you thought you’d become by now, the cities you never got to live in, and the parts of yourself that just... didn't make it. i keep thinking about how many of us are carrying around this heavy-ass grief that literally nobody sees.

People-pleasing is a real problem. But the answer isn’t boundaries…it’s identity. When you know who you are before God, you don’t need to protect yourself from others. You can love people well even when it costs you something, disappoint them when you have to, and still not lose yourself…because your worth was never in their hands to begin with. “Choose your peace” is a form of self-protection. What Christ offers is harder than that. And a lot better - - he calls us to please an audience of one. (Galatians 1:10)

At some point, you will have to disappoint others to live a life that is honest to you. People-pleasing will drain you, not save you. You have every right to set boundaries and choose your peace; you can disappoint people and still be a good person.

You do not have to lose your job for this AI pivot to cost you your identity. You only have to keep showing up to a trimmed down version of your work that no longer gives you the same sense of purpose and self-worth you once found there. The truth is that you were worth the cross before you ever produced a thing. That is the foundation that has to be built on now, before everything shifts and crumbles. Every other identity is going to get tested. Only the one rooted in Christ is going to hold. x.com/counterformed/…

The reason most of us struggle to hear God in the moment is not necessarily because we lack discernment...it's usually because we don't recognize his voice. Discernment isn't something you develop on your own. It's the natural overflow of a relationship you've actually invested in...time in His word, time in prayer, time learning to recognize the difference between His voice and everything else competing for your attention. You can't trust a voice you don't know. And you can't know a voice you haven't spent time with. The people who act with clarity and conviction in the critical moments aren't operating on instinct. They're drawing from a well they've been filling for years...through an intimacy with Him that makes His voice more and more recognizable. How deep is your well, and what are you filling it with?