Houston

I don’t wanna sympathy farm or be corny as fuck I just need a place to put down my thoughts my mom told me when I was about to leave for Disney that my grandpa (who I’m named after) passed this morning and told me I still should go to Disney because she knows it’ll help me. Malcolm is keeping me chill rn tho I’m gonna be good it just doesn’t feel real at all

Malcolm Todd bi4bi icon

Watching Jimmy Fallon for Malcolm Todd and I love Jimmy he’s a nice guy from what ik but holy shit this is unfunny

@fawnaerie I love all sharks

@houstniscool there might not be otters at the aquarium oomfie 🥹 do you hv another fave?

going to the aquarium later 👀 what is oomfies favourite marine animal??

@ukesmeow People say Kobe is like the third best basketball player of all time like you wanna talk about “3” what did Kobe do in 2003???

how men look at u when you tell them that their favourite athlete is a rapist pred

@JBlackwate22882 @menarfags You’re named after the dog from family guy bro fuck out my shit

@houstniscool @menarfags Yeah said no straight man or woman ever

Men are now crying in the quotes. Well why haven't you blocked your male rapist friend?

@fawnaerie Awww thank you twin

@houstniscool he ain't wrong your fit is fire twin

I had to show oomfs the fit that that one guy at target complimented im so proud of it this is the he closest yall will ever get to a face reveal until i sell out at 10 billion followers

@rritorro It’s okay I’ll remember you twin🙏

Changed my pfp and header don’t forget me people

@Emawnish I could never forget EDawg

@houstniscool do forget abt ur ogs oomfs when ur big time bro😅🤝

@fawnaerie #freemyoomf

I'm being limited 💔💔 I can't reply

@Simoneom6 @menarfags EXACTLY

@houstniscool @menarfags Fr How could I trust a friend if they are willing to cheat on their S/O

Offering my father a peace offering by getting 2 imax tickets for the odyssey opening day

GUYS I DRESSED UP ALL NICE AND GAY TO GO TO TARGET AND THERE WAS A GROUP OF PEOPLE AROUND MY AGE THAT WERE DRESSED VERY WELL AND ONE GUY SAID TO HIS FRIEND WHILE I WALKED BY “that lil bro dripped out” AND IT MADE MY DAY

@Xcalamity_02 Weeks not days

@houstniscool Yo boss damn, bro didn't promote u too top teacher? 😳 Did the kids know that then ?

Of course my kids decided today was gonna be the Mr. Houston Q&A for fucks sake

@Xcalamity_02 I mean we couldn’t tell the kids it only lasted a few days anyway but it’s okay i do my job better and everyone can see we’re on different shifts now

I refuse to fall off because what if some virgin loser on polymarket bet that I would

@Xcalamity_02 The problem was I was semi dating my boss who is a guy and Florida has the fucking don’t say gay bill or whatever so we just kinda stood there laughing

@houstniscool Just lie to em and say your dating Sabrina carpenter or smnt