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it’s a very big expectation of perfection in how you grow, and a reduced capacity in people’s ability to empathise with you. it extends into hyper independence. you are meant to be the guide + comfort, and oftentimes if you step out of that, there’s no capacity for you in return.
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there’s something about being the wise friend that makes people almost dehumanise you. you’re held to standards by people who can’t meet them because of what you’ve learnt, but the only reason you know what you do is because you had to survive. less space to be flawed and grow.
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Marriage isnt a life milestone I see as penultimate, it’s quite easy to obtain. But the women Im happy to see engaged would have something worthy to clap about regardless. And as a byproduct I know they will have healthy marriages and even if they didn’t, they would be okay.
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A lot of women my age see engagement photos and think when is it going to be my turn but I only celebrate a small percentage of engagements, everybody else I just let out a sigh bc you can tell the girl hasn’t done the necessary work and this is the beginning of the end for her
NRB@vivrantny
I want the girls free from thinking a man is going to save them so badly. Im tired of seeing women’s potential die bc of fantasy. The quicker you accept that there are no exceptions to the rule the better off you are.
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yes cut cords. now move with the wisdom to stop making cords that need to be severed to begin with
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Baby I’m on Ashwagandha and Magnesium Glycinate ain’t nothing phasing me
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I have worked so hard & I am truly reaping the rewards. My investments and savings look TERRIFIC. My upcoming debut book with a Big 5 publisher is almost out of edits. I’m almost done paying off my student loans. I’m traveling. I’m about to get promoted again at work. And I’m buying land next year.
God is so good.
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My needs are already fully met as a single person actually so a relationship is either going to add to more life or I’m not getting in one at all and I think that’s what y’all don’t comprehend
Iveta@about4otters
monogamous people are so weird to me. like you genuinely think one person is going to meet all your needs? or are you fine only having some of your needs met just so you dont have to be alone?
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@vivrantny @waltwhitmangoth That's not how polyamory works. Especially because polyamory is typically a closed relationship with more then one person. What you are talking about is an open relationship, which still doesn't have to work like that because communication, trust, and safety are important
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@vivrantny I had never seen my feelings towards the most common forms of polyamory this well expressed...
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@Mighty_Nonsense Havent had too much experience with polyamory but can definitely see this angle bc at the end of the day codependency is codependency no matter the dynamics
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@vivrantny I've seen so many people attempt polyamory & when it goes poorly, I think this is the reason why. It's when people who don't have a strong enough sense of self and inner emotional security attempt it that it ends turbulently. Some ARE suited to it & some people ACT suited to it
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@nerdscapade And I agree with that level of grace bc at the end of the day we’re all human so while I don’t expect perfection I do expect contentment and out of myself before anyone else
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@vivrantny YUP. And then literally… yeah ? I’m okay with my needs not being met at a perfect 100% ? I don’t even do that for myself sometimes, I’m not gonna put that pressure on one other person, nor am I gonna start collecting a bunch of people to make sure I’m at 100%.
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