KeeKee

> be citrini analyst #3 > your boss said internet wants to deploy you to the deadliest place on earth > ok, let me get my zyn and cigars and $15k for bribes > fly to dubai, then to oman border > cross the omani border and pledge not to do any intel work > immediately ignore the pledge > need to get in water to see oil tankers > find crazy locals with speedboats > swim 18 miles into the Strait > no gps, shahed drones flying over you, iranian patrol boats swimming circling around > light up your cigar, film a tanker on fucking fire > omani fbi catches you, sneak out unharmed > your boss posts everything on x > back to dubai, check in hotel > dubai cia see your boss’s posts > dubai cia knocking on your door > pretend to not speak arabic > receptionist says to them you speak perfect arabic > interrogated > boss writes up an article about you and sells for $999 > all in less than a week fucking cinema

In rural Uzbekistan preparing for my trip to London.

Trump on Easter for some reason

Two unelected men met at Easter as Christians are persecuted in Syria and Ukraine. So much in common, both working for the same "Company" Buy one, get one free.

So MAGA really meant Make Allah Great Again?

This is one of the craziest driver swings I’ve ever seen. Cross handed. John Daly backswing. Will Zalatoris side bend. Full send! I’ve watched it ten times. I’m obsessed. BRB going to go up to the simulator and see if this is what I’ve been missing!

Shortest conversations with HR

Asymmetric warfare is similar to tail risk. You hit 100 targets; they hit just one and you've lost.

When you get exposed as a fraud, here is what you should do: Embrace it! Teacher Jiang explains “The internet knows I’m a fraud, so today we are just going to focus on SPECULATION. I don’t know shit about economics, but I’m curious about why things happen, I’m NOT an expert, I’m NOT even a professor, but what I do is engage in speculation for fun, for entertainment, so I’m going to just make up some shit that have no scholarly basis. OK?” 😭😭😭😭😭

Imagine having a leader with this much rizz

CIA, MOSSAD and Mi6. In one picture.

I need a sticker like this on my WhatsApp IMMEDIATELY

EBITDA (2026 edition): Earnings Before Iran, Tariffs, and Donald Announcements.

This guy is the most successful CIA operative in decades and I refuse to believe otherwise.

bro wtf is this?

Claude, outperform the S&P 500 and retire me by 22

The Malaysian private credit version is still in steady mode. 6-8% for fixed income and up to 18% for riskier investment notes. Malaysia cenggini 🦾

Never deleting this app. 💀